Unlovable
by Mysty Viaz
Summary: Hurt and confused by her boyfriend, Bella finds support from the two unlikeliest people
1. Chapter 1

**A little something I wrote a few years ago, thought I'd finish and share it.**

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to S Meyer, this is a work of fiction, facts may be altered to fit the story.**

**Chapter one**

Are my lips unkissable?  
>Are my eyes unlookable?<br>Is my skin untouchable?  
>Am I unlovable?<p>

Cynical, jaded, faithless, disappointed, disillusioned, used  
>If I could take back all my sweat, my tears, my sex, my joy I would<br>My time, my love, my effort, passion, dedication  
>In case of mistaken identity I gave these things to you<br>If I sound angry, bitter, sad, infatuated, it's the truth  
>Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, just a few<br>Stages of acceptance that it's really over  
>It's just so complicated and I'm stupid for believing in you<p>

You make me feel like my father never loved me  
>You make me feel like the act of love is empty<br>Am I so unlovable?  
>Is my skin untouchable?<br>Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?  
>(Darren Hayes)<p>

Bella's POV

I was for want of a better word, devastated. I had basically just had my heart handed to me in a colander. I had the chopped up pieces all dried up and lifeless staring me in the face and I needed to get away from the pain. The realization that my life was over at the grand old age of sixteen hit me hard. I swear I'll never trust another guy as long as I live, I had had two boyfriends and they had both done everything they could to completely spiflicate my most vital organ.

I knew that I was probably partly to blame, the signs had been there, I'd just negated to see them for what they really were. Now I was hit with the realization that I'd end up as the cat lady of Forks, unlovable and unwanted. My first boyfriend Eric, was the first to chop up my heart and my self esteem and no one but the two of us knew the truth about why we broke up. I was the only one that knew that the guy who took my virginity at fourteen was actually gay. I was way too young and too emotional, it was the biggest blow to my self esteem imaginable.

Now here I was, I had run straight from school and I was tired from running all the way to the row of stores in the centre of town. The place everyone hung out, the old town hall was sectioned off into lots of small business's, from fashion and jewellery, to a tattoo shop. There were a few weeks until the end of the semester but most of the high school seniors had left already. I passed several as I ran through the building, I rounded the corner heading for the tiny dress store so I could hide in the changing room until I finally died. As I rounded the corner I saw Jasper Whitlock sat in his usual position on the trash can next to the tiny coffee shop. I saw his eyes widen when he saw me, I shook my head at him and ran straight passed without speaking. Finally I made it, I threw myself through the curtains of the changing room and into the corner out of sight and I finally allowed the tears I'd been fighting back to fall freely.

I sat on the floor with my knees up and my head on my knees with my arms wrapped around my legs as I sobbed at my own stupidity for going out with Mike in the first place. I couldn't really regret it, Mike had introduced me to some great people in his senior classes. People who actually spoke to me instead of treating me like just another silly school girl, like most of the girls my age were normally treated.

I felt a warm body next to me and an arm around my shoulders, I froze for a second before I looked up to see Jasper sat next to me, holding me close to him. Jasper was one of the best looking guys in the whole of Forks, all the girls wanted him, he was tall, blond, sexy, nineteen and totally gorgeous. I couldn't exactly call us friends but we did talk, that was more than he did with any of the other girls my age. He was a major hottie, despite his demeanor, his black clothes and spiky hair, he was a really nice guy, once he let you see through the strong, silent, tough guy persona.

"Hey, Bella, what's happened?" He asked quietly so no one would hear.

I sniffed and shook my head and I put my face back on my knees.

"Tell me and don't say nothing again, some asshole has upset you, so tell me." He insisted.

I sniffed again, "I... I... I just found out about all the lies Mike has been telling everyone about me." I eventually choked out.

"What sort of lies?" He asked.

"Load's from what I can tell, but generally telling everyone what a horrible person I am, which is weird as he's always telling me what horrible people his friends are." I said, wiping away my tears. Jasper looked at me sheepishly, "Damn, what did he say to you?" I asked.

"Well, he had said that you were a total slut for a sixteen year old and you were always lying about his friends." Jasper said.

A sob escaped my lips, "You.. you don't believe that do you?" I asked and I could feel my lip quivering.

"Well, it doesn't sound much like you, but if he's telling us that you're not a nice person and he's telling you that we are no better, what's he doing hanging with any of us?" He asked. "Not that he hangs out with me, I can't stand the guy personally."

"I don't know, what would be the point of turning us against each other?" I asked.

"Well he obviously doesn't want to lose his friends and for all the things he's said about you, he still wants to be with you. So maybe its his sick way of stopping anyone from trying to take you off him? And to stop you going off with any of his friends." He suggested. "That's fucked up, but I suppose it makes sense to him, but one minute he's calling you a slut the next he's saying you won't sleep with him at all, makes no sense at all." Jasper said.

"Exactly, but they all believe him, because I've only been here for two years and he's been here forever." I said sadly. "But I guess that the not sleeping with him might have a small amount of truth in it." I said sheepishly.

"That's understandable, he's a dick, if I was you, I wouldn't sleep with him either." He said grinning, finally I smiled back at him. "That's better, that smile of yours lights up the place." He said, "so if he's your boyfriend, why won't you sleep with him?" He asked, I ducked my head embarrassed and bit my bottom lip. "What?" He asked.

"It's embarrassing." I admitted.

"Come on, you can tell uncle Jazz." He pushed.

"I can't Jazz." I admitted.

"Can't what?" He asked.

"Can't have sex with him." I whispered without looking at him.

"Why not? Wait is it because you're underage?" He asked in a whisper.

I wrapped my hands over my scarlet face and shook my head, "no, it's because it hurts." I whispered.

"What?"

"I'm not saying it again Jazz."

"It's not suppose to hurt Bella, so how many times have you... you know, done it, was it your first time?"

"No... we've been together for like eight months, so four times and it hurts more each time." I said into my knees, wondering why I felt that I could talk like this to a guy, especially one I'd always had a bit of a crush on.

"Fuck, that doesn't sound good." He said, "He's not shoving it up your ass by mistake or something is he?" He asked.

I groaned and shoved his shoulder, "No of course not, probably just too tight or something." I offered and I'd swear that he groaned.

"Well you should dump his sorry ass, he must think a lot of you, I mean there's over two years between your ages. Yet he's going to a lot of trouble to hang on to you, I think you should find someone who knows how to fuck a girl properly." He said getting up and pulling me with him. "He certainly doesn't deserve your tears, come on." He said grabbing my hand and pulling me into the small coffee shop. "So I take it you have seen him today?" He asked.

"No, he's supposed to be meeting me at the diner at four." I said.

"Well I hope you are going to dump him, you can do so much better than that asshole." He said, ordering us two cappuccinos.

"Thanks, though I think I'll give up on guys altogether." I said.

"What? Are you gonna start dating chicks?" He asked his face full of excitement.

"No I'm not." I said rolling my eyes at him, "No need to get so excited." I warned, trying not to laugh.

"Fuck I'd pay good money to watch you with another girl." He admitted with a smirk.

"Jazz." I complained.

"Just sayin." He said grinning.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter two**_

We had just sat down with our drinks when I saw Jasper's friend Edward Cullen walking into the cafe, he smirked when he saw me at the table. He was easily the best looking guy on the planet, let alone in Forks and yet, just like Jasper I was one of the few people he actually spoke to. He sat opposite me in the seat next to Jasper, he leaned forward and stole the cookie off my plate, he looked me straight in the eye as he did it.

"Have you been crying?" He asked, frowning at me.

"Yes she has." Jasper answered.

"Why?" Edward asked.

"Have you heard some of the things that Newton has been saying about her?" Jasper asked and I cringed back into my seat.

"No, never listen to anything that comes out of that assholes mouth." Edward said, "Why what has he been saying?" He asked me.

I sat there biting my lip, it was worse than embarrassing talking about all this with the gorgeous Jasper, but it felt even worse with Edward. I mean seriously with his spiky bronze hair and perfect cheek bones and masculine jaw... Urgh that guy was in my opinion the most perfect male specimen on earth, I could feel my face heat up. I pulled my gaze from his and dropped my face so I didn't have to look into those gorgeous green eyes whilst they discussed this horrifyingly embarrassing subject.

"Well despite the fact that she can't stand it when he fucks her, so she rarely lets him, he's telling everyone she's a slut and that she's selfish and all sorts of other shit, but its all fucking bullshit." Jasper said.

"Well firstly, why are you still with that asshat? Secondly I know for a fact that you are far from selfish." He said I lifted my head and I raised an eyebrow in question. "Anyone who rushes to the aid of an old lady after some kids knock her shopping on the floor, then not only helps pick up the groceries but then carries them for her, that is not the actions of a selfish person." Edward said.

"How did you know about that?" I asked shocked.

"It happened out side the fancy dress shop, on Monday," he said and I nodded. "I started work there on Monday." He said with a smirk, that smirk that made every girl go weak at the knees, I was okay, I was sitting down at the time... fortunately, doing everything I could not to react to it, "so why can't you stand him fucking you? I mean I'm not surprised, but if you're still together?"

"He hurts her." Jasper said.

"Urgh... Jazz!" I complained hiding my face in my arm on the table.

"What the fuck?" Edward said angrily.

"Not like that, at least I hope not... well when he fucks her, its hurts her." Jasper said.

"Hello still in the room here, I think I should just go and leave you to discuss this amongst yourselves." I said.

"No... stay there, this is getting interesting." Edward said, but I still didn't look up. "Hasn't he heard of foreplay?" He asked.

"If by foreplay you mean spending two minutes tuning my tits into FM radio then yeah sure." I said, surprising myself with my verbal vomit, how and why was I sat drinking coffee and discussing my sex life with the two hottest guys in town? This was crazy and my comment caused them both to snort with laughter.

"Honestly Bella, he's a fucking idiot, I know you're only young, but you deserve so much better than that, please tell me you've dumped his ass?" Edward said.

I glanced up at them both and they both gave me looks of understanding and compassion rather than the mocking looks I was expecting.

"No, she hasn't seen him yet, he's meant to be meeting her at the diner at four." Jasper informed him.

Edward sat thinking for a moment. "Isn't that new vampire movie on in Port Angeles tonight?" He asked Jasper out of the blue "Want to go see it with us?" He asked me, I think my eyebrows went well passed my hairline, in surprise. Me out on a Friday night with two nineteen year old guys? I was hurt, not stupid! "No strings Bella, just friends." He added.

"Maybe some other time, I don't really want to fuel the gossips who think I'm a slut thanks to Mike." I said.

He sat in contemplation for a few moments before he spoke again. "Okay, how about we go to the diner, we'll sit at the next table, you can meet Newton and dump his sorry ass and we'll be there for support or in case he starts any trouble, how does that sound?" Edward asked and Jazz nodded in agreement.

"I'd feel better if we were close by, just in case." Jasper said.

"Why are you two being so nice?" I asked.

"Well aside from the fact that we are nice guys, though I will deny that if you repeat it," he said with a wink, "we want you to know that not all guys are assholes, plus we consider you a friend and we look out for our friends." Jasper said.

Edward looked at his watch, "Come on, lets make a move, I want to be there before he shows up." Edward said getting up, he ushered me out of the shop with his hand in the small of my back, I could feel the heat from his hand through my clothes, I bit my lip and tried to stop myself from leaning back into his hand. I mean I know I'm all sorts of confused and mixed up right now but two of the hottest guys in town just said they consider me a friend... that's like HUGE! And Edward is touching me! And not because he wants in my panties, no he's doing it because he's nice. _Exactly, no one wants in YOUR panties, unless they're gay!_ My inner voice chided me. _You're unlovable and unscrewable, get use to the fact that no one will ever want anything more than this from you and you are damn lucky to get this._ My brain told me, I'm so pathetic. I dropped my head in defeat, dreading what hurtful things Mike would have to say to me now.

Edward and Jasper sat at the table next to me, Edward placed his chair directly behind me, so he was close enough to hear anything said at my table. "Fucker thinks he's so fucking cool, treats you like shit then has the nerve to show up twenty minutes late." Edward muttered as Mike walked in, he walked over to me, smacking the waitress on the ass as he passed her.

"Hey babe, sorry I'm a little late, had to help some friends out... you hungry?" Mike said. "Though you don't need much, I don't want you putting on any more weight." He said.

I heard Edward growl behind me. "If you think I'm getting too fat for you, maybe you should trade me in, you know get a new girlfriend, skinnier model and all that. You know... the sort of girl who wants to sleep with you and isn't a slut." I said, my eyes narrowed showing him how pissed I was at his statement, he didn't usually talk to me like that, I was guessing that that was for Edward and Jasper's benefit. I heard Edward chuckle at my statement.

Mike's expression was one of shock and nervousness, "You're not a slut." He choked out.

"Oh..? So why do all your friends say that you told them I am?" I asked and watched him swallow hard, his eyes flashing to the table behind me.

"I don't know what you're talking about, now are we gonna order, I'm starving." He said.

The waitress came to take our order, I just ordered a mixed slushie, "Let me enlighten you." I said to Mike when the waitress left. "All your friends are under the impression that you told them I was, amongst other things a slut." I said.

"Have you been talking to Jessica and Lauren? Because whatever they say its all lies Bella." He said. I really didn't want to do this, I was getting angrier the longer I was here. The waitress returned with our drinks and I stood up. "I'm not staying to listen to anymore of your bullshit, I just want to be sure that you understand that I am from now on your ex girlfriend... you're pathetic." I said then I proceeded to empty the slushie into his lap, masking my hurt with anger.

"Bella! You don't, you can't..." He stuttered out ignoring the mess I just made over him, he got up and reached for me. "You can't leave me." He said.

"Watch me." I said pulling out of his grasp.

"Bella don't go... I, I don't want you to go." He stuttered, his eyes darting from me to the table behind, he actually looked genuinely upset.

"Why would you want me to stay if I'm everything you are telling you friends?" I asked.

"I, I l-love you, I don't want anyone to take you from me." He said grabbing my shoulders and pulling me to him.

I pushed against his chest when he tried to lean in and kiss me. "If that's how you treat someone you love then I'm definitely not interested, now let me go." I said.

"You want me, I know you do... I can tell." He said trying to pull me closer.

Edward appeared beside me and shoved Mike's shoulder, "Let her go." Edward said through clenched teeth.

Mike released me and Jasper shoved him away from me. "You are a fucking idiot, don't you ever touch her again." Jazz growled at him.

Jasper tugged on my arm pulling me away from Mike, as I walked towards the door, Edward put his hand back on the small of my back and leading me out.

"I always knew you were a slut Swan... By the way Cullen, you're wasting your time, she doesn't put out very often." Mike shouted over the tables, oh my god talk about confusing mixed messages.

"So you have been taking advantage of a minor?" Jasper said, shutting Mike up instantly.

"Hang on a sec, I can't leave it like this... and I will feel so much better if I do this." Edward said then turned to walk back to Mike, hitting him square in the jaw, Mike ended on the floor, "no one bad mouths my friends and gets away with it, now stay the fuck away from her." Edward spat at him before walking back to me and the three of us left.

Once we were outside of the diner, I wasn't sure what to do next, but I was grateful to Jazz and Edward and I needed them to know that.

"Thanks guys, I mean... I'm really grateful for the support." I said feeling my cheeks getting redder with each word.

"Any time short stuff." Edward said mussing my hair.

"Hey not everyone can be over six foot tall and all the best things come in small packages." I said in response, making them both laugh.

"Not all things, but in your case I have to agree." Edward said grinning.

"Well thanks again guys, I guess I'd better get going, I need to get some groceries so I can cook dinner tonight, so I'd better get going." I said flustered.

"What? You can cook?" Jasper asked, somewhat shocked.

"Of course." I answered a little insulted.

"Are we talking heating up beans from a can, or real like... baking?" He asked.

"Are you trying to insult me, if so I really should leave before I slap you." I joked, raising my eyebrows at him, biting my lip so I wouldn't smile.

"Sorry Bella, I'm just not used to girls who can actually cook, come on, we'll help you carry your groceries." He said, I looked up at Edward and he nodded, so we started walking to the grocery store.

"So what are you planning to cook tonight?" Edward asked.

"Well I was going to keep it simple as my dad won't be home till late, so I was thinking lasagne, with salad and zucchini bread." I said.

"They don't sell zucchini bread here, I'd know if they did." Edward said.

"I know, I was going to make it." I said and they both looked at me slack jawed. "What? I bake loads of different breads." I said, causing them both to moan.

"Pumpkin?" Jasper asked.

"Of course." I said and he moaned again, "What?" I asked.

"Damn Bella, I think I just became your biggest fan." Jasper said.

"Second biggest, I'm obviously her biggest fan." Edward informed him.

"Let me guess, you are both fans of baked goods?" I asked, feeling elated, as it gave me an idea for a thank you gift.

"You have no idea."Edward replied, I laughed and pulled out a shopping cart as we walked into the store laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter three**_

After being walked all the way home by Edward and Jasper last night I proceeded to make them some bread. So along with some cinnamon rolls I put a pumpkin loaf and a zucchini loaf with some soda's in my back pack before heading into town. I was dressed in my low rise jeans and my vintage London calling, Clash t-shirt, under my denim cropped jacket. At just after eleven I figure it was about time that life in town would start, so I headed out into town in the hope of seeing Jasper. By the time they had left me yesterday, I was feeling surprisingly good, not healed by any means, just not feeling so alone. I still felt pretty worthless and unlovable, but at least I had some nice guys I could talk to now. I was sure that they were the only nice guys, at least the only ones in Forks. It's funny that most people saw them as the trouble makers of Forks. The spiky hair and punk clothes and attitudes were nothing in comparison to all the so called normal looking assholes in town.

I was soon in town and made my way quickly to the old town hall, unfortunately not quickly enough.

"So Mike finally saw sense and dumped you huh? Its about time, never did understand what he saw in you, I mean, really. You must have been a good fuck, it certainly couldn't have been love, like who would love you? You're a freak Swan, plain and fat and that shy act doesn't fool anyone, no one will ever have you now." Jessica spat her words at me, I was shocked by her verbal tirade, she was a senior and I'd never had any dealings with her before, she didn't even know me and here she was reminding me of just how unlovable I was, I just stared in disbelief. "Hello, is there anybody in there?" She said waving her hand in my face, I just stared unable to speak as I fought back the angry tears that were trying to escape.

She was right and I was angry at myself for ever believing in Mike or that I could ever mean anything to him or anyone. I saw Jessica's hand start to swing towards my face, I tried to brace myself, I closed my eyes and waited for the hand to hit, but it never came, what did come was even more shocking... Jessica screamed.

I opened my eyes to see Edward glaring daggers at her, his hand wrapped tightly around her wrist just inches from me, he yanked her away from me and stood between us. He continued to glare at her without speaking, that wasn't that unusual he wasn't one to talk much to anyone normally. Jessica started to cringe under his glare, rubbing her wrist she looked up at him.

"You stay the fuck away from her." He hissed through clenched teeth, he looked like he was having difficulty controlling his temper, Jessica nodded and walked away dragging her two friends with her. Slowly he turned around to face me. "You okay?" He asked. I swallowed, took a deep steadying breath and nodded. "Come on." He said and we made our way into the building to find Jasper without saying a word.

"What the fuck's eating you?" Jasper asked when he saw Edwards face, he didn't answer, Jasper turned to me raising a questioning eyebrow.

I sighed, "just Jessica reminding me of my place." I said, he frowned and turned back to Edward.

"Fucking Stanley bitch was mouthing off shit right in her face, then as I got to them she was about to hit Bella." Edward said seething.

"What? Stanley was going to hit you?" Jasper asked me. "Why?"

I shrugged, "not sure, because I'm fat, ugly and unlovable I guess." I said and they both glared at me.

"Don't ever say that... its fucking bullshit, she's a jealous bitch... with no right to speak to you like that, let alone raise a hand to you." Edward said, he was really angry.

"Come on, lets get out of here." I said sensing the unease.

"Where to?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know, but I have something for you both, so..." I trailed off as they stared wide eyed at me.

"Something for us?" Jasper questioned, I grinned, hooked my arms through theirs and started to walk out. We stopped at the low wall outside the building and I sat on it, they sat either side of me. I pulled off my backpack and pulled out the two packages, handing the one with 'P' scratched into the aluminium to Jasper and the one with 'Z' on to Edward.

With his eyes bugging out of their sockets, Jasper gasped as he opened the end of the package and taking a deep breath in as he breathed in the aroma of the pumpkin bread. "Holy fucking shit." He said pulling off a chunk and putting it into his mouth, Edward and I watched, waiting for his reaction. Jasper closed his eyes and I swear he was wearing his 'O' face. Slowly he began to chew and he moaned in such a sensual way that my girly parts throbbed in reaction.

"That good huh?" Edward asked and immediately opened the end of his loaf and started with the same procedure as Jazz had.

"Fuck Bella this is like edible sex." Jasper finally said as he pulled off another piece and stuffed it into his mouth.

I turned to watch Edward as he put some zucchini bread into his mouth, the sight of his long fingers in his mouth was the most erotic thing I'd ever witnessed, he closed his eyes as he licked his fingers and hummed in appreciation.

They both sat there in complete silence as they ate their bread, well silent as far as not speaking goes. But really they were making a lot of noise as far as their sexual moans were concerned. I had to press my thighs together to try and suppress the urges I was feeling in reaction to the sounds they were making. I know I was still only sixteen and had only ever had two highly inadequate boyfriends. But right now my body seemed to know exactly what it wanted as I listened to the gratifying moans coming from these two extremely attractive men. Hey they were making those noises because of me and I was so turned on that it was embarrassing. I pulled out one of the cinnamon rolls and started to eat it as a distraction. Before I was half way through my roll I realized that they had both hoovered up every last crumb of their loaves and were now eyeing my cinnamon roll with longing. With my roll stuffed half way in my mouth, in a highly unflattering way, I pulled out the bag of rolls and handed them one each. Their smiles were blinding and their eyes sparkled at the sight of more baked goods, I pulled out three soda's to help wash the bread down.

"Seriously Bella." Edward said after a long silence, "That was the most amazing thing I've ever tasted, you are without doubt truly talented and I can't wait to taste more of you... and your talent." Edward said causing Jasper to splutter out the mouthful of soda he'd just taken. Edward smirked and winked at me.

"Amen to that." Jasper said after he'd wiped his mouth on his t-shirt showing me a quick glimpse of his abs, he had such a nice body, well they both did.

"Hey, come on." Edward said grabbing my hand and pulling me after him as he walked quickly to the bus that had just pulled up, he got three tickets to Port Angeles, "We're going to watch a movie." He said pulling me to sit next to him on the back seat of the bus, "Its the least we can do after that awesome gift of yours." Edward explained.

"Um, okay, I said hesitantly as the bus pulled out.

"Don't worry, we'll protect you from the scary vampires." Jasper said grinning."

"Seriously guys, thanks but wouldn't you rather go with your own dates, I mean you must have girlfriends and I'm sure you'd rather be with them than spending time with me." I pointed out.

"Nope, I'm single and happy to be here and treating you like royalty, if you promise to make me more bread." Edward said then grinned madly at me, I couldn't help but smile in response.

"Hell yeah to that." Jasper agreed, "Best way to a man's heart is through his stomach and after that insight to how good at baking you are, my heart and stomach are more than happy to spend all of their time with you."

"Wow, I hadn't realized you guys were so easy, a couple of baked products and you're anybodies." I said, smiling still and shaking my head.

"They both grinned and nodded to each other. "Only for you Bella." They said together.

"I can't believe that you guys are single, I mean I know at least ninety percent of the seniors were hoping to get one or either of you as dates for prom." I said.

"Yeah, but none of the girls in school, or even in Forks have anything in common with us, kinda boring, having nothing to talk about, in fact we've talked to you more than any of them." Jasper said.

"That's because she the only one with a mind of her own." Edward muttered.

"Aww you poor guys, girls only want you for sex huh? That must really suck." I said then bit my bottom lip to stop myself from smiling at my comment and from Edwards. It made them both laugh.

Once we arrived in Port Angeles, the first thing I saw when I got off the bus was a concert poster. "Oh my god, no way." I said excitedly.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Look." I said pointing at the poster.

"No fucking way... I'm definitely up for that." Edward said.

The poster was advertising that Hoobastank were playing in Seattle next month.

"You want to go?" Jasper asked.

"Me... are you asking?" I countered.

"You'd want to go?" Edward asked.

"Are you kidding me, me in the same room as Doug Robb would be a wet dream come true for me." I said without thinking about the words before they escaped, they both stared at me open mouthed. "Okay... what surprised you the most? The fact that I know who Doug Robb is, or the fact that I said... um... well you remember I'm sure." I said blushing every shade of red known to woman kind.

"Both." Edward said, with a smirk.

"That's so fucking cool, you'll come with us then?" Jasper asked.

"If you want, I'd love that." I said.

"What's your favorite song of theirs?" Edward asked and I felt my cheeks burst into flames.

"Um... too many great songs to pick just one." I said, honestly I was far too embarrassed to admit the song on my ipod that had almost two thousand plays on it.

"Then why are you still blushing?" Edward questioned.

"Am I?"

"Tell me? I'm really intrigued now." Edward said.

"Me too." Jasper said.

"I'm sorry I have no idea what you are on about, so what are we going to watch?" I asked desperate to change the subject.

Edward glared down at me, I avoided eye contact, so he lifted my chin until I met his gaze. "Bella what is you all time favorite Hoobastank song?" He asked looking straight into my eyes, his green eyes sparkled, almost dazzling me.

"Insideofyou." I mumbled to myself, Edwards scowled at me, causing me to sigh, "Inside of you." I said only slightly above a whisper, closing my eyes as I said it, he was silent so I opened my eyes.

Edward smiled hugely, "I had a feeling you were going to say that." He said then he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Its my favorite too." He whispered as he put his arm around my shoulders, "Come on, lets go see when this movie starts." Oh my god Edward Cullen just whispered in my ear! That kept the blush on my face even longer, if I didn't get to fan my face soon I might even pass out.

"So you have a thing for Japanese guys?" Edward asked looking slightly alarmed as we waited in line at the kiosk, why did he look alarmed?

"Errr, he's from California." I said.

"But he's Japanese." He said.

"Actually he's only half Japanese, he's also half Scottish, does that mean you're going to accuse me of having a thing for British guys now too?" I asked, watching his eyes widen but he didn't answer. "If you must know I prefer Asian martial artists." I said, as I watched his forehead crease.

"Why?"

"Jet Li, Tony Jaa, Jason Scot Lee? Err... yeah I guess I have a thing for really fit and ripped guys." I said with a shrug, knowing full well that both he and Jasper were really ripped. I felt the blush spreading back across my face again and turned away from him.

"What's wrong with American guys?" He asked.

"Nothing at all, I have a particular fondness for several."

"Anyone I know?" He asked.

"Hey, there's Jasper." I said and almost ran towards Jasper avoiding Edward's question. That would have gone down like the titanic if I'd have answered him honestly wouldn't it? 'Oh yes you and your best friend!' I'd certainly have to kiss goodbye to our friendship if I'd let that little iceburg slip out.

Edward paid for my ticket and Jasper bought me popcorn and a soda, they insisted on it. Just after the start of the movie, one of the characters died after being attacked by vampires and I couldn't help but giggle.

"You think the guy dying is funny?" Edward whispered in my ear and I nodded, "Why is that funny?" He asked.

"The dead guy is played by the same guy who is one of the main vampires in True blood." I said, he laughed with me for a second.

"Wait... you watch True blood?" He asked. I just grinned, no need to tell him that I had the first three series on DVD, "You really are a surprising one, you know that... right?" He said, I just smirked at him and turned back to the film.

A/N

The film is 'Priest' and yes that was ages ago... just shows how long ago I wrote this. Please let me know what you think...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four.**

As we left the theater I was struggling to keep up with Edward and Jasper in the crowd, then Edward stopped, turned back to me and wrapped his big hand around mine and Jasper put his arm around my shoulder. "Don't want our favorite baker getting lost." Jasper said squeezing my shoulder.

"How does pizza sound to you guys?" Edward asked.

"Sounds good." Jazz said.

"I don't have money for pizza." I said quietly.

Edward squeezed my hand. "I wasn't going to make you pay for it, Bella, I was going to share mine with you... that's what friends do, right?"

"I can always make pizza, it would be a lot cheaper than buying fresh made, but I'd need to go to the deli first to get what topping you want." I said looking from Edward to Jasper and back to gauge their response.

"Even better, that's an excellent idea, though I can't imagine the chief being very happy about having the two of us in his house." Edward said, Jasper snorted in response.

"I'm allowed to have my friends over whenever I like, besides he's working late, so he won't be there to shoot you." I said grinning.

Jasper swallowed. "If you're sure."

"Oh I am, so what are we getting for toppings?" I asked as we walked towards the deli, neither one of them had let me go. I was in heaven, sandwiched between the two of them, I could happily die now, nothing could ever be better than this I thought. Oh no... I started to imagine maggots in my chocolate the second I felt the blush on my face. The very last thing I needed was for my feelings for them to show, I would never be more than friends with either of them, I knew that. I was certain that I would lose that friendship if they ever found out how I really felt.

"I really don't think that the chief meant the likes of us, we aren't like your other friends." Jasper said grinning.

I shrugged, "I don't have any other friends." I admitted.

They both frowned at me, "you've lived here for two years and you have no friends?" Jasper asked.

"I have two actually, you two." I pointed out.

"And we are the only two you need, I've lived here all my life and you two are my only real friends." Jazz said squeezing my shoulder again.

"Ditto." Edward said giving my hand another squeeze.

I had to be the luckiest girl in Forks... heck, luckiest girl on the planet to have these two as my friends. I knew it wouldn't last though, my luck wasn't that good and besides they would both be off to college soon. I guess I will just have to make the most of their friendship while I can.

**~0~**

With all the ingredient's I'd need for two meat feast and one chicken and bacon pizza we returned to the bus stop to wait for the bus back to Forks. The stop was outside the jewelers, so I stopped to look in the window as we still had a while to wait. I gasped when I saw the necklace in the center of the display, it was a white gold snake with jade stones for eyes, it was stunning, each link of metal looked like sales on the snake. I placed my hand on the glass as if I could stroke it, it stood out amongst all the curb chains and yellow gold.

"That's pretty cool." Edward said.

"It's beautiful." I agreed before turning and going to sit on the bench beside Jazz, slapping his hand playfully off the bag before he stole anymore of the ham that they had bought.

"Does your... the chief work late a lot?" Edward asked, I shrugged, "just so I know if there are nights we shouldn't come over?"

"Don't worry about it, even when he's not working he doesn't come home until really late, in fact I'm not sure if he comes home at all most nights. When he does he's gone before I get up, the only signs I have that he's been home are his dirty laundry and the food I made him has gone."

"Where the hell does he go?" Edward asked frowning... he does that a lot I noted.

"He has his other family in La Push." I said.

"Other family?" Edward almost growled in disgust.

"His girlfriend and her two kids live in La Push, so he spends all his down time with them." I said quietly. Everyone in La Push knew about Dad and Sue Clearwater, though I'm not sure the good people of Forks knew. Well if he was ashamed of it enough to hide it then he really shouldn't be doing it.

"Does he at least check up on you, talk to you?" Edward asked.

"He pays the bills and leaves money for groceries." I almost whispered.

"It must be fucking lonely as hell, I know what that's like more than most... well not any more sister, I will be over all the time from now on." Jazz said wrapping his arms around me giving me a hug. I already knew that Jasper had an unhappy home life, I would be happy to be there for him, even if it was just as a friend, I would be the best friend I could be for him.

"I'll be there as often as I can too, any time I'm not working." Edward said from my other side.

"Then I best make the most of having you both around before you both go off to college." I said.

"Even then we will be back every couple of weeks, even if it is just for the weekend." Edward said.

"And you can come and stay with us the weekends in between." Jazz added.

"I'd like that very much." I admitted, I wasn't looking forward to them going off to Portland to college in a couple of months. I'd assumed I just wouldn't see them again, now knowing there was a possibility of seeing them again I felt such relief it almost choked me up.

**~0~**

I had put out a couple of bowls with pretzels and potato chips in on the counter to nibble on whilst I set about making the dough for the pizza base. Edward and Jasper had already half emptied both bowls.

"Don't you need instructions to follow to make this?" Jasper asked as he watched me folding the dough.

"I make pizza's at least once a week, it's not exactly rocket science you know." I said.

"You are quite unbelievable, you know that right?" He asked.

I looked up and he was looking straight into my eyes, I smiled. "Like I said Jazz, it's pretty easy to do."

"I've never had home made pizza before." He said.

"Me either." Edward said, I turned and he too met my gaze.

"Your mom's never made pizza for you?"

"Nah, my moms always said its not healthy, so she wouldn't make it." Edward said.

I turned back to Jazz, he smiled and shook his head. "My mother hasn't cooked anything in years, she can't even heat up beans without setting the house on fire."

"What do you eat normally then?" I asked him frowning.

"I just heat up ready meals from the freezer, or go to Edwards... Mom is on a liquid diet, usually Vodka." He admitted with a shrug, giving a little more insight to his life at home... no wonder he was happy to be here instead.

"Well I have a bad habit of always making too much, so you are more than welcome to come for dinner any time you like." I told him, he grinned in response.

"Thanks Bella, you might get sick of me though." He said.

"Never." I told him honestly.

"Hey, what about me?" Edward asked pouting adorably.

"Well obviously that goes for you too." I said rolling me eyes at him, though inside I was doing a happy dance. I was grateful that I could hide my face as I put the bases in the oven, I was thrilling at the thought of spending more time with them both. I hadn't spent anytime with friends since I left Arizona over two years ago. I'd forgotten how good it felt, though this was better than anything I'd had before, though that might have something to do with the fact that it was Jazz and Edward. They were both the nicest, kindest and most fun people I'd ever met, the fact that I was falling deeper in love with them by the minute only emphasized my feelings.

Once I had served up the cooked pizza's we moved to the living room to watch a movie, I sat in my favorite place between the two of them. We had finished eating, well I finished after I ate half of mine, they had eaten all of their own and shared the other half of mine. I was still trying to work out where they put all the food when there was a knock at the door.

I got up and Jazz paused the movie whilst I checked through the window to see who it was at the door.

"It's Mike." I whispered, confused, why would he be here?

"Want me to answer the door?" Edward asked, his eyes narrowed and agitation marked his voice.

"No... I'll go, I just don't understand why he's here." I admitted.

I went and opened the door. "Hi," Mike said when he saw me.

"What do you want?" I asked, not quite able to keep the hurt and resentment out of my voice.

"You Bella... I want you." He said, I felt my forehead crease, surely he had to be joking.

"You lied about me... to everyone." I pointed out.

"I know, I was stupid... I'm sorry I did that." He said.

"You called me some pretty hurtful names, Mike."

"I know Bella, I didn't mean any of it, I really am sorry." He said, looking at me with his lost puppy expression, I sure as hell wouldn't fall for that again.

"You hurt me," I pointed out, "a lot."

"I know, I'm trying to apologize for that, I'll do anything, just take me back." He said, I stared into his eyes and I could see that he believed that an apology was way more than enough.

"Pick up that garden gnome." I said pointing behind him to the offending object that had apparently been there since before my dad bought the house. Mike did as I asked and picked it up. "Now throw it hard against that tree." I said pointing to the tree behind him, he frowned then shrugged and threw it against the tree.

"O-kay." He said slowly, looking from me to the shattered gnome and back a few times. "Was there a point to that?" He asked.

"Now pick up the pieces." I said.

"Why would I do that?" He asked.

"You just told me you'd do anything." I pointed out.

He sighed, shook his head, then walked over to the tree to pick up the broken pieces, "what now?" He asked.

"Apologize to it." I said.

"Why the fuck would I..." He started to say but I stood my ground and folded my arms over my chest waiting for him to do as I asked. "I'm sorry I broke you Mr Gnome." He said looking at me like I'd gone mad. "What now?"

"Did your apology fix it?" I asked.

"No." He said frowning.

"No it didn't, an apology can't fix what you should never have broken in the first place." I said turning and closing the door on him. My Gran had done that to me with a plate when I was younger, it's a lesson I never forgot.

I walked back into the living room concentrating hard on my breathing, I'd held it together in front of Mike but I could feel the tears trying to fight their way out now.

"You are fucking awesome." Jazz said holding his hand up for a high five, I tried to smile at him, though I'm not sure I managed going by his expression.

"You okay?" Edward asked patting the seat next to him, so I'd sit beside him again.

"No... but I will be... eventually." I said.

He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. "You are amazing... I'm so proud of you." He said squeezing my shoulder pulling me closer until I was resting my head on his shoulder as Jazz started the movie again.

Holy shit Edward just kissed me! _Yes your head, not your lips, no one wants to kiss your lips_, my inner monologue snarked ending my sudden euphoria. I sighed and just enjoyed being held as we watched the movie.

A/N Please let me know what you think of the story so far, should I continue?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n Thanks to everyone who reviewed, faved &/or followed, YOU ARE AWESOME!**

**Chapter five**

I had spent all morning thinking about my weekend, seriously I hadn't been this happy in I don't remember how long. I couldn't keep the smile off my face no matter how many times someone tried to insult me, today I was much more able to ignore them. I was just walking around the back of the languages building where I usually eat my lunch and there sat in my favorite hiding place was Edward. He smiled when he saw me, I was almost giddy at seeing him, I'd missed him all morning.

"What are you doing here?" I asked smiling.

"Came to spend my lunch hour with my favorite student." He said winking at me, making me blush even more than I was at seeing him here.

"How did you know I ate here?" I asked shocked.

"I noticed this was your favorite spot to hide, I've passed you enough times over the last year." He said, I busied myself sitting beside him to hide my face, one blush blending into the next at the fact that he had noticed me, maybe I hadn't been as invisible as I'd thought.

"No Jazz with you?" I asked, he frowned slightly and shook his head. "So you are here to steal half my lunch?" I said narrowing my eyes at him.

"Guilty." He said with a devilish grin, "but..." he said producing a bag from behind him. "I did bring you a chicken and bacon baguette from the diner."

"Those are my favorite." I moaned, they always made them just how I liked them.

"I know." He said simply as he handed me the warm wrapped baguette, causing my face to stay heated back up.

"I guess I won't mind sharing my banana bread with you then." I told him.

"Damn girl, you are so good to me." He said grinning then rested the side of his head on my shoulder, I leaned my head on his and hummed.

"Ditto."

"Did you just call me a girl?" He asked making me giggle.

"Well you did just ask me for something I produced from my banana." I pointed out making him laugh.

"You have been hanging out with Jazz and me too long, we're starting to rub off on you." He said.

"Wait... wasn't that what I just said to you?" I said making us both burst out laughing.

"They grow up so fast... I'm so proud." He said grinning as he took a bite out of his own baguette.

We ate in silence for a few minutes until our quite hiding place was disturbed.

"What the fuck are you doing here Cullen?" I heard Mike shout and it made Edward growl, Mike must have a death wish, he'd never talk to Edward like that, he must think being on school grounds was going to protect him. This was the first time I'd seen Mike since the episode with the gnome on Saturday, I'd hoped my message was clear but the look on Mikes face said otherwise.

"None of your fucking business." Edward said quietly, so quietly it sounded more threatening.

"Anything that involves Bella is my business, so move along so I can have lunch with my girl." Mike answered, coming to a stop in front of us, even sitting down being towered over by Mike, Edward still looked more intimidating.

"Go away Mike." I said not even bothering to glance up at him, Edward was annoyed and I didn't want him to get into any trouble because of me, whether Mike deserved it or not.

"I'm not going to stand by and let him take what's mine, I don't care how tough he thinks he his." Mike said.

Edward jumped to his feet, "Bella is not an object to claim." Edward said glaring daggers at Mike, who actually shrank under Edwards glare.

I jumped to my feet. "Like Edward said I'm not an object and further more I'm not yours either and will you stop accusing people of being something they are not... I'm sick of you Mike, Edward is a good friend and we both know he would never be more than that. So now that's cleared up go away and LEAVE. ME. ALONE!"

Mike grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Edward, who was looking at me strangely, until he saw Mike grab me and then he seemed to grow several inches taller. Wrapping his arm around me pulling me away from Mike and standing between us.

"You lay so much as a finger on her again and I will remove said finger and the accompanying arm." Edward growled.

I rubbed my arm where Mike had grabbed me, glaring at him with nothing but hate, I can't believe I fell for all his bullshit for so long. "I hate you." I said as I fought not to cry.

"You don't hate me, you have just been listening to people poisoning your mind against me, you'll see soon enough that we are meant to be together once I get you alone." He said turning to walk away. He paused then turned back, "you know no one else can have you because no one else would want you." He said and walked away. Then my tears started to fall... why did he have to say that? Why? The pain of that truth sliced though me and I slumped down to the ground and sobbed.

"Hey, Bella honey, don't listen to him." Edward said rubbing my back, he was always so sweet, such a good friend. _Yeah a friend that's all you are ever going to get from a nice guy... friendship, only psycho's want you, to use you. It's a lifetime in the friend zone for you_. My inner voice chided, which only made me sob harder.

Suddenly I was in his arms, Edward carried me across the end of the football field and down the steps to the parking lot. He open a car door and sat me inside pulling a tissue out of the glove box and handing it to me. Then he closed the door on me. I watched as he walked around the car, I blew my nose and wiped it before he got in to the driver seat.

"Wh-who's car is th-this?" I asked.

"It's mine." He said, I frowned which made him smirk. "It was an early graduation gift from my folks... now let me see your arm." He asked, making me frown again. "Where he hurt you."

"He didn't hurt me that bad." I said, which made him frown.

"Then why were you so upset?" He asked clearly confused.

"It doesn't matter." I said turning away from his intense gaze.

"You were really upset Bella... we are good friends..." _Mmm there's that word again_, my inner voice snarked. "You can tell me anything." He said, but I shook my head. "Bella, please talk to me." He said taking my hand and squeezing it. "Why were you... are you so upset?"

"Because he was right." I said pulling my hand away to turn to get out.

"Bella wait..." He said practically pulling me back into my seat and pulling the door closed again. "You need to explain, I don't understand."

I sighed and covered my face with my hands as my tears fell silently down my face. "He was right." I said again.

"About what!?" He asked clearly alarmed.

"About me... about no one else wanting me." I stated shaking my head. "Not Eric, not Mike Not my mom, not even my dad... I'm completely unlovable." I just about managed to get the final words out before the dam broke and I sobbed.

Edward didn't speak, he just wrapped his arms around me letting me sob into his shirt until my tears dried up and my sobs quieted. "Well I can't speak for anyone else but myself and I can tell you that as my only female friend that you are loved..." He said, I frowned up at him as I pulled out of his arms to blow my nose again. "Jazz and I adore you Bella, we don't have friends, never have had really because we've never fit in with anyone before, then you come along and right away you became one of us. So you can't be unlovable, can you?"

First bell went and Edward reached for another tissue and wiped my eyes.

"Don't listen to anyone else or anything they say unless its positive things about you from now on, okay?" He asked waiting for me to answer, I couldn't speak so I nodded slowly. "Good, you are awesome, amazing and anyone would be damn lucky to have you in their life, I know I am, if others can't see that, then that's their problem and not yours, understand?" I nodded again.

"Thank you." I almost whispered to him.

"I don't need thanking for telling you the truth Bella... now, I'll see you later, after I finish work right?" He asked, I nodded and turned to get out. "I mean it Bella, don't take any notice of any more of their lies." I nodded gave him the best smile I could manage and went off to my next class grateful that I did at least have a friend who really did seem to care about me, even if he didn't see the truth among the lies.

**~0~**

I'd barely taken ten steps out of school when I saw Edwards car parked on the road, only it wasn't Edward standing leaning against it, it was Jasper. In his ripped black jeans and tight black t-shirt, standing with his arms folded over his chest looking sexy as all hell. His mass of blond spiky hair blowing slightly in the breeze as he watch me as I walked to him.

"Hey." He said simply as I walked up to him, he pulled me into a hug.

"Hey." I replied as he released me and opened the passenger door for me, I got in and he closed the door and hurried to get in the drivers side. "I thought this was Edwards car?" I said.

"Yeah, he told me to use it so I could pick you up," he said grinning at the shocked look on my face. "He told me what happened at lunch time and we thought it best all around if you are not left alone when Newton is around. So it's just you and me until Edward gets out of work at five." He said.

"So how much trouble do you think we can get into by five?" I asked, he grinned, "we could go into the fancy dress shop and annoy the staff." I suggested.

He grimaced. "Nah, though I do need to take his precious car back, we could go to the cafe or we could go and get matching tattoos." He said grinning and showing off his adorable dimples.

"I'm not old enough to get a tattoo." I pointed out.

"Garrett is really cool, I'm sure he'd do it if we ask him." He said

"Not without adult consent." I pointed out, I had looked into getting a tattoo, I had a list of ink I wanted to get.

"That would be where I come in." He said grinning even more.

"I'm not getting matching tattoos and I can't see you getting a swan on your ankle at any point in your life." I said shaking my head as we pulled up outside the fancy dress shop and got out.

Jasper mumbled something that sounded like, "wouldn't mind getting one on my dick though." But obviously I couldn't have heard him properly, I can't imagine for a second that that would be a pleasant experience.

We went into the shop so Jazz could give Edward back his keys. "That's one sweet ride." Jazz said on seeing Edward, who turned to us with concern in his expression. It took him three long strides to reach me, he pulled me straight into his arms and hugged me for a moment, it was sheer bliss. Then he picked me up and sat me on the counter top, he put his hands on either side of my face and stared into my eyes.

"I'm fine." I said, but his gaze didn't falter, "honestly, I'm fine." I tried to reassure him, I placed my hand on his cheek and he leaned into it.

"Is this the famous Isabella that I've been hearing about?" Someone asked from behind me.

"Yes Kate, this is my good friend Isabella, Bella this is my aunt, Kate." Edward said as we both dropped our hands away from each other and Jasper handed him his keys.

"Does this mean that you will actually do some work now that you have seen with your own eyes that she is okay?" She asked him, he pulled a face at her, then lifted me back down to the floor.

"So what are you two going to do until I finish work." Edward asked.

"Bells and I are going to go and see Garret, see if we can get matching tattoos." Jasper joked.

"You'd better not." Edward said, he looked at the surprised expression on my face and continued. "Apart from the fact that you are underage, it hurts like a bitch... and you have been hurt enough." He said to me.

"Oh? I though unicorns licked them on, I didn't realized it actually hurt." I said making Kate and Jasper snort, Edward just scowled at me, though I thought I saw his lips twitch like he was trying hard not to smile. "How do you know it hurts so much?" I asked curious, "Do you have any tattoos?"

"Yes and believe me it really hurts." He said.

"Where is it?" I asked a little to eagerly, then bit my lip to stop the smile that was spreading across my face at the thought of seeing ink on his body.

"Here." He said pointing at his hip, he leaned down and whispered, "play your cards right and I may even show you sometime." He teased, winking at me as he straightened up, making me blush furiously.

"Well I can show you mine now if you like?" Jazz said putting his arm around my shoulder, "come on Bella, lets go see how much trouble we can get into before Mr Nine to five here gets off... work."

"You'd better take good care of her Jazz." Edward said, I smiled and gave him a small wave as we turned to leave.

"Oh you can bet your ass I will." Jazz said as he held the door open for me.

A/N Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think, should I continue?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n Oh wow you guys... thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, faved &/or followed, YOU ARE AWESOME!**

**Chapter six.**

"So what are we going to do?" I asked Jasper as we left the fancy dress store.

"Anything you want." He said.

"Well that's helpful... I have no idea, Forks isn't exactly known for it's plethora of activities." I pointed out.

He shrugged, then he must have had a light bulb moment as a smile spread across his face. "I have money for groceries, you could help... then maybe come back to my place and we could make something... maybe some pumpkin bread?" He asked hopefully.

"I should have seen that one coming." I drawled, rolling my eyes at him. "Won't your mom mind us messing up her kitchen?" I asked.

"Nah, she doesn't get home until six, then she'll be in the bathroom for next three hours putting on half her weight in makeup." He said with a shudder.

"Well if you're sure..." I said.

"I am." He said before I could say anymore, he grabbed my hand and we set off to the grocery store.

"Hey Jazzy." Lauren said as she leaned out of her car where she pulled up beside us, he didn't respond. "I have one final History assignment to finish and I'm all done so... how would you feel about helping me with it tonight?" She asked, I think she must have something in her eye because she seemed to be doing a lot of blinking, probably due to the copious amount of mascara her eye lashes were currently holding up.

"Sorry Lauren but Bella and I have plans and a cooking assignment of our own to do." Jasper said, he didn't look at her let alone break stride as we continued down the sidewalk.

"I'll make it worth your while." She said, still blinking like mad.

"I very much doubt that." He muttered, then cut across the parking lot to the store, his hand stayed tight around mine until he pulled a cart out at the door.

"I don't mind going home if you'd rather be with Lauren." I said trying not to show the hesitance that I felt saying it.

He snorted. "Given the choice of shopping with you or getting my cock sucked by her, thanks but I'm perfectly happy spending time with you." He said picking up a packet of the flour he knew I preferred to use.

"I'm serious Jazz, I know that you are worried about me and I really do appreciate everything you and Edward have done but you really shouldn't have to go without for my benefit."

"Does that mean that you are offering to do it in her place?" He asked his eyes lit up and he grinned as he teased.

"Wow, she must be pretty awful at it if you'd want me to do it instead." I teased right back, he laughed and put his arm around my shoulder to whisper in my ear.

"Believe me she sucks at it..." He said making me giggle, "in fact she sucks so bad she even makes my cock sick." I snorted in response which made me slap my hand over my face so I didn't snort again. I shoved at his shoulder and walked away shaking my head. "What? What did I say?" He asked catching me up easily, "you're embarrassed? Why?"

"I'm not talking about this Jazz, change the subject." I told him.

"Why not? You can't be any worse at it than her." He continued on regardless.

"Do you have fresh lasagna strips at home or do we need to get some?"

"Oh we definitely need to get some... so why don't you want to talk about it? Didn't you and Newton..?"

"Oh god Jasper please just drop it..." I said then rubbed my hands over my face as I tried desperately to erase the images in my head as I remembered the one time that Mike tried to get me to do that.

"Oh come on Bella, what is it? You should know by now that you can tell me anything, or even ask me anything, if you want tips I can give you pointers." He said with a wink, I groaned and tried to walk away. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not talking about it in the middle of the veg isle thank you very much." I said, then suddenly Jazz was all about getting his shopping done in a hurry.

Before I knew it we were out of the store and down the street to Jasper's house, I had hoped he had forgotten about the subject of cock suckers but as I was helping him put away the groceries that we wouldn't be using he brought the subject up again.

"So do I take it that your experience with Newtons Newt were not so good?" He asked, I couldn't help it, the visual of Mikes appendage fit the name perfectly and I burst out laughing.

"How do you know it's a newt?" I questioned.

"Showers after football, I'd say it was hard to miss but I'm sure you know it's really not." I really couldn't say as the only two I'd seen were pretty much the same size so I had nothing to compare them too. Well maybe I did, after years of not having the internet, my recent perusal had been very enlightening. "So what happened?" Jazz pushed, was it really bad?"

"That's one way to put it, I guess." I admitted.

"Talk to me Bella." He said but I couldn't look at him.

I sighed staring at the pasta I was holding. "I apparently don't suck at it." I almost whispered then sighed again, not wanting to remember it.

"Oh?"

"Please don't ask... I... I just..." I couldn't go on.

"Hey." Jasper said placing his hands on my shoulders and turning me to face him, I still couldn't look at him.

He lifted my chin until I met his gaze. "What did that bastard do?" He asked getting agitated, I tried to look away but he still had hold of my chin. "Tell me." He said a little calmer.

"I wasn't my fault, I didn't know." I admitting heating the room with my face. He raised an eyebrow waiting for me to elaborate. "It's called a blow-job not a suck-job." I blurted out trying to move away from him, pulling the top of my t-shirt up to cover my face.

"You didn't?!" He gasped, then he started to chuckle, he pulled me against his chest, wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his face in my hair. "You are so young and innocent... and so fucking adorable." He said still chuckling as he pulled my t-shirt down off my face and swayed us both from side to side as he hugged me. Trying to get away from him was a useless effort, after about a minute I gave up and hugged him back.

"Didn't you do sex ed at your last school?" He asked.

"No, they didn't teach it, my last school was run by nuns and my Gran didn't want me taking anything like that... she was very old fashioned." I mumbled into his chest.

"So didn't your mom teach you that stuff?" He asked and if the thought hadn't been so painful I might have laughed.

"Considering I only found out who she was after my gran died and even then she wanted nothing to do with me so... no."

"What?" He asked alarmed but I shook my head at him, I was so tired I didn't want to go into it now, not that I ever would. "And, no one explained anything to you? What about the internet?"

"I have not had access to a computer until recently and no I've had no one to teach me anything, my whole life has been a series of learning from my own mistakes." I said and his grip on me tightened.

"Please tell me that Newton explained what you should do... he didn't yell at you did he?" He asked, he was getting more agitated by the second, perhaps it would be better if I didn't say anymore. "Bella?"

"Please drop this Jasper, it's in the past, can we please leave it there?"

"Okay, but I need you to know that if you want to know anything, no matter how silly or embarrassing you feel it is, I want you to come and ask me, okay?" He asked, I was sure he wouldn't let this go so after a long sigh I nodded.

Whilst the lasagne and bread were cooking Jasper towed me up to his room, giving my hand an extra tug until I sat on his bed beside him.

"You look so tired." He said, his finger lightly tracing the dark circles under my eyes.

"I haven't been getting much sleep lately." I admitted.

"Is that so? Who's the lucky guy... or girl?" He teased, I shoved his shoulder with mine.

"There's been lots of noises in the yard at home at night, it's usually too dark to see if anyone is there, but it makes me more alert. Just when I start to relax and fall back to sleep it happens again... that's been going on since Saturday." I admitted.

"Since you told Newton to fuck off." He pointed out.

"Exactly." I said with a yawn, I had been wondering myself if it was Mike just trying to unnerve me.

"Come here." He said pulling us both further onto the bed to lye down. "The food will be a while, lets take a nap, you need some rest." He said, I was going to object but he opened his arms for me to snuggle against him and I couldn't resist that. He smelled delicious of deodorant and all boy, he was warm and I was exhausted, he wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair, I succumbed in seconds.

**~0~**

"She okay?" I thought I heard Edward's voice whisper, but I was still on the edge of sleep so I wasn't sure.

"Not really, you wouldn't believe half the shit she's admitted to tonight, she has been through some major fucked up stuff but she's not ready to talk about it." Jasper answered, his body seemingly encasing mine in heated safety.

"She just doesn't show her emotions, it's difficult to read her sometimes, but she must have opened up some before she fell to sleep on you." Edward said, I felt the bed move as he sat beside me on Jasper's huge bed.

"She's exhausted... someone has been messing outside the house at night, keeping her awake and scared." Jasper said. "I think we have severely underestimated Newton."

"In what way?" Edward asked.

"This isn't the first time he's played mind games with her is it..?" Jazz said.

"What do you mean?"

"Think about the things she has admitted to, she's so innocent Ed, I wouldn't put it past him to have been manipulating her all along..." Jasper said but I didn't hear a reply. "Think about what she has said, about him hurting her, what if he's been forcing her all along..." Jasper choked, bringing my mind more into focus.

"You think he was raping her?" Edward said his voice sounding... off somehow, pained almost distant though I knew he was sat beside me, I felt his knuckles sooth over my cheek.

"She has zero experience or knowledge, he's a master manipulator, it wouldn't take much for him to make her think she was supposed to let him... He hasn't once taken any notice of her when she says no, you do the math." Jasper's voice sounded as pained as Edwards.

"She must have spoken to someone, her rents? Friends? She would have known, she wouldn't have stayed..." Edward almost stuttered, he sounded like he was in agony.

I really began to realize then what they were saying, what it all meant and exactly how naive and stupid I had been, I felt my tears begin to run across my face.

"What rents? I don't think they have ever been in her life, just some old lady who kept her sheltered from anything that would give her any experience, probably in the hope that she wouldn't turn out like her daughter." Jasper said as I let out a sob.

"Oh Fuck, Bella." Edward almost sobbed as he wrenched me away from Jasper and into his arms. "Please tell me we're wrong, please, please tell me we are wrong." He begged, but how could I? Me? stupid, uneducated, backward and unlovable, it was all true, I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed.

**~0~**

The three of us sat around the kitchen table eating reheated lasagne no one feeling much like talking when eventually Jasper spoke up. "You either sleep here or I come over and sleep at your place, I'm not leaving you alone over night again."

"You c..." I tried to cut in, but it was a pointless effort.

"He's right Bella, one of us will be with you all the time from now on." Edward said.

"NO! Just no guys, that's just crazy and impossible." I attempted to point out but I might as well have been whistling in the wind.

"As much as we'd never want to do anything if you said no, we are afraid in this case that we are doing this because it's our job as your friend, Bella. We'll be damned if we'll let him hurt you again, ever." Edward said.

"I have school for two more weeks, you have the fancy dress shop and Jazz starts work at the grocery store on Monday." I pointed out, I didn't go into the fact that he only got the job because his mom was sleeping with the store manager. It was sick to think what it took for them to find work in a town that doesn't like them, they were without doubt the nicest guys in the history of Forks. I sure as hell wouldn't do anything to risk the one job he could get.

"We'll work something out." Edward said nonchalant.

"This is ridiculous, you shouldn't have to rearrange your lives because of me." I argued.

"Bella, what would you do if it was one of us going through this?" Jasper asked, well duh, I'd walk through fire for either of them...

"That's different." I almost sulked.

"How is that different?" Jazz asked.

"Because I'm not worth it." I said almost exasperated that they could see that.

"If you think for one second that that is true then you are erroneously wrong." Jazz said.

"But..." I was about to say when Edward stood up suddenly, the chair he was sitting in scraped across the linoleum and fell backwards. Edward leaned forward his hands fisted on the table, I'd never been so shocked, I flinched back instinctively.

"Look, we could leave things as they are and let you have your way... but what if something did happen to you? What if he did hurt you, or worse..?" Edward said choked up. "What do you think that would do to us Bella? Knowing we could have prevented it, it would kill us, we're doing this for god damn self preservation, you are just going to have to put up with us being over protective okay?" He said almost panting he was so worked up, I didn't say anything, that was the nicest, most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me. The closest thing to I love you that I was ever going to hear, I loved them both so much in that moment that I could barely breath. I jumped to my feet and wrapped my arms around him. Did I say that they were without doubt the nicest guys in the history of Forks? Scratch that, I meant in the history of the Universe.

"I'm sorry... I'll do whatever you want, I promise." I almost sobbed, pulling away after a moment so that I could go and hug Jasper too.

A/N Thanks for reading. So now you have a little of Bella's history, giving you an inkling as to why she is the way she is, what do you think? And how frickin awesome are those two guys? Swoon...

I really should look into getting a beta to edit this stuff, sorry for any mistakes I've missed.

In answer to a popular question. 'is this a poly story?' I can honestly say I do not know, that was not my intention but my mind works in mysterious way so I won't say yes or no either way yet :)


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n Oh wow you guys... thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, faved &/or followed, YOU ARE SO AWESOME! * KISSES ***

**This chapter has been edited and slightly rewritten.**

**Chapter seven.**

"I should pack a few things so that I can stay with you tonight." Jasper said as we cleaned up the kitchen.

"No, I'll stay with her tonight." Edward said.

"Good luck with telling your mom what you're doing then." Jasper chuckled.

"I'll tell her I'm staying here." Edward said with a shrug.

"I'm perfectly happy to do it." Jasper said standing up straighter.

"There's no need..." I tried to interrupt.

"Don't you have a date tonight?" Edward asked, smirking at Jasper who frowned at him and shoved at his shoulder.

"It's nothing I can't cancel." Jasper said eying me sheepishly.

"No need, like I said, I'll do it." Edward said, we can go over to my place now so that I can pick up a few things." Edward said, they stood scowling at each other for a few moments, but I couldn't take the sudden unease between them.

"So you have a date? Who's the lucky girl?" I asked Jasper to try and ease the tension, but for some reason it just made it worse. Jasper grimaced, glaring daggers at Edward, but Edward grinned at him, who knew what that was about.

"Yeah..." Jasper said turning to look at me. "It's nothing serious though, just a bit of fun... I can cancel if you need me." He said, I thought he looked hopeful but whether that was because of the date or because he was hoping he could cancel, I had no idea.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's about time you went out and enjoyed yourself." I said to him.

"I always enjoy myself with you." He teased, pouting adorably.

"You have needs I can't fulfill, you should go out more." I pointed out, though I sure had to control my face so he wouldn't see how much I didn't mean that. I turned to Edward, "both of you." I said, though I couldn't look him in the eye as I said it.

"Nice try, but it's not gonna happen." Edward said wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. "Come on, I need to shower and change, possibly get something to sleep in unless that is... you want me sleeping naked with you?" Edward teased.

"You are not even slightly funny you know." I muttered, the whole time in my head I was screaming YES! YES! I want you naked! _In your dreams baby, you know that's never gonna happen_. My inner voice snarked, damn her I was enjoying that thought so much and she has to ruin my visual.

Whatever the tension was between them it didn't last long, by the time we arrived at Edward's parents house they seemed to be back to normal. I was anything but, I'd never met Edwards mom, I'd seen her around town but I had never spoken to her... I was nervous as all hell about meeting her now.

"Will you relax." Edward said rubbing his hand up and down my arm, "this is no big deal Bella, you are just a friend and she's my mom... nothing to worry about." Edward said. _And there you have it, conformation again that you are nothing but and will never be move than JUST FRIENDS! He doesn't want anything else with you._ My merciless inner voice vocalized. Hey Edward Cullen is my friend and he has his arm around my shoulders, so screw you assbutt, I screamed back in my head.

"Hey Mom." Edward said as we walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, are you boys hungry... oh." She said when she spotted me standing between Edward and Jazz, "and who is this?"

"This is our friend Bella, Bella Swan." Jasper said rubbing my back as I almost shook with nerves, Edward walked over to his mom and kissed her cheek, stealing one of the raw carrots she was chopping up.

"The chiefs daughter?" She asked. _There, see, so inconsequential that he hasn't even mentioned you to his mother before now_. Assbutt snarked. I ignored her, didn't want to scream 'I fucking hate you' and accidentally say it out loud, now really wasn't the time to make that sort of mistake.

She gave Edward a look that I recognized, my gran wore that look a lot, it was the 'what the hell are you playing at?' look. "Yes Mom, anyway, we've eaten already, is it okay if Jazz and Bella hang in the TV room, I really need to take a shower." Edward said in a rush.

"Sure, but why don't you just shower later?" She asked, but I didn't hear anymore as Jazz walked me into what had to be the TV room, just one TV but it took up half the wall, I think it might have been taller than me, it was ginormous.

"He won't get in any trouble will he..? because of me?" I asked Jasper sheepishly as he flopped down into the big squishy looking sofa.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, Edwards always honest with his mom so she'll believe him." Jazz said.

"What? no... he, he can't Jazz." I said almost panicked, the last thing I need is someone asking Charlie if it was true about him not giving me so much as the time of day... he'd be pissed... at me!

"Stop!" Jasper said grabbing my waist and pulling me down so I ended up sprawled half on the sofa and half over his legs. I looked up at him from his lap and he grinned down at me before he helped me sit up beside him. "Edward won't say anything if he thinks it may affect you in anyway, he... we only want to take care of you. If to do that we have to tell the occasional white lie, then so be it. We've told you enough times we won't do anything to hurt you... okay?" He said reassuringly, he backed it up by running the back of his fingers over my cheek. "We only want what's best for you." He said staring deep into my eyes begging for me to understand I guess, I had to look away as his look was so intense and he was so close, sheesh get a grip.

"So who is this date with?" I asked pulling my face away from the circles his fingers were drawing on my skin. "Should I be jealous?" I teased, well I tried to make it seem like I was teasing.

He laughed throwing his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close as he picked up the TV remote and switched on the TV. "Not at all, she couldn't compete with you on her best day." He teased back.

"Are you purposely not telling me who it is?" I asked resting my head on his shoulder and looking up at him.

He sighed. "It's just Maria, it's not even a date... not really." He admitted, but I scarcely heard him, god, anyone but her... Maria was a twenty one year old college dropout, who worked cleaning jobs all over town to pay for her coke habit amongst other things. "I know what you're thinking." He said looking down at the frown on my face. "She's promised not to be under the influence tonight."

"I have no right to say anything, it's your life, but..." I said hesitantly.

"I know..." He said and kissed my forehead, making my head spin. "I've lived with my mom long enough to know all the signs, if I suspect for a minute that's she's on anything I'm out of there. I hate drugs Bella, I wouldn't be meeting her if I thought she be on something."

"Okay, not my place to say anything anyway..." I said shrugging it off and hoping he was right.

"Actually you have more right than anyone, you are my friend Bella, I know you are just looking out for me and I really do appreciate it." I looked up at him sheepishly. "I mean it, you and Edward are the only people I care about, oh maybe Mr and Mrs C too. So please don't be afraid to tell me if you think I need to be told something, I don't always see things clearly so I'm counting on you to point me in the right direction."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt Jazz." I said.

"Like I said, it's not really a date... it's just taking care of my needs for the night." He said then grinned when he saw my blushing face. "What? It doesn't bother you, me talking about her giving me head, does it?" He asked, well its not like I could do that for him, I thought and I turned my face away from him. "What is it?"

"Nothing." I insisted turning to look at the TV.

"No-no, something is obviously bothering you... what is it." He asked again, I felt my face getting hotter, what the hell am I going to say to him? "Hey," he said moving my face to look in my eyes again.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Bella?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "Well, definitely not something I can help with, is it? It's not exactly the sort of thing a friend can help you with" I pointed out, trying to laugh it off.

He shifted uncomfortably, _well now you've made him uncomfortable, great job there friend_, Assbutt added, just to intensify my mortification. "Don't you think you have been dealing with enough crap, without worrying about me so much?" He said, _Nice brush off, see, he can't even sit still he's so disgusted at the idea of you sucking his cock, little miss hornblower._ Assbutt said in my head, seriously if she doesn't stop I'm going to have to hit something.

"I just wish..." I started to say then changed my mind.

"What?"

I sighed, "Why her Jazz, I know I don't know her, but..." I tried to explain, badly, maybe I should have just not said anything,

"You're worried about me getting mixed up with her drug habit." He finished for me, I looked up at him sheepishly and nodded. "I know you're worried, but we have hooked up a few times and she knows I don't want any kind of relationship with her. She's always been cool with our arrangement, so as long as she's not on anything when we are together, then I'm okay with it." He explained.

"Just be careful." I warned, he kissed my nose and grinned at me.

"Thanks for caring."

**~0~**

It wasn't too much later that Edward dropped Jazz off at home to get ready for his non date, date, then he drove us back to my house.

"I'll leave my car here." Edward said pulling up outside the house three doors down from mine.

"Why here?" I asked.

"If someone is going to come into your yard tonight, they won't if I have my car parked in the driveway." He pointed out.

"Good point, though wouldn't that be a better deterrent?" I asked.

"I don't want to stop him, I want him where I can get my hands on him, that way I have an excuse for beating the crap out of him." He said.

"I don't want you to get hurt." I said, the thought of Edward getting hurt was painful.

"Hey." He said stroking my cheek, I'll be fine." He insisted. "Come on Buttercup, lets get you inside... so that we can spend the night together." He joked, waggling his eyebrows at me, my stomach did a double flip at the idea of spending the night with him and because of the sweet nickname he'd given me. _He named you after a weed, yeah, that's sooooo sweet, not!_ Assbutt said.

"That is so, not amusing." I said in answer to them both, I was obviously seriously disturbed, I was actually referring to my own inner musings as a separate entity and I'd named her Assbutt. I think three days with hardly any sleep was really getting to me.

Edward held me close as we walked up to the house, his eyes scanning the yard and the surrounding forest. "You go inside and lock the door, I'll take a look around then come back, don't let anyone in until you hear my voice okay?" He asked, then squeezed my shoulder before ushering me inside once I had the door open.

It was only a few minutes later when Edward knocked twice on the back door, "It's me Bella." I opened the door for him and he locked it behind him. "You go take your shower and get ready for bed, I'll make sure everything is locked up and find a movie for us to watch, okay Buttercup?"

I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a yawn and nodded, "Better make it a short film." I said yawning again.

"As you wish." He said, before turning me around and slapping my ass.

"There is soda in the fridge, help yourself." I called down when I was half way up the stairs.

"Any..?" He started to ask.

"In the pantry." I answered knowing he was asking for bread, I could sense his grin from the top of the stairs.

When I came back down stairs dressed in my PJ's I found Edward on the sofa, an empty plate beside him, which he moved so that I could sit beside him. He had changed into sleep pants and his chest was bare... Holy hell he was spectacular to look at, damn... the things I'd like to do with that man. I'd never be able to be with Edward the way I wanted, but that didn't mean that I couldn't appreciate the fine view. He pulled the throw around us and I snuggled under his arm as he held me close. I always felt so safe when he had his arm around me, he made all the anguish and pain of my past disappear, if only for a little while. The opening credits to Trueblood started, it was the very first episode and I looked up at him surprised by his choice.

"Strange choice." I commented.

"You wanted something short, I figured one episode would be okay, we can watch one every night." He said, with a shrug.

"Have you seen these before?" I asked.

"I have them all on Bluray, Buttercup." He said.

"Oh, erm... won't it get a little, err... uncomfortable for you, you know... watching the sex scenes?" I stuttered embarrassed.

He laughed, "not as embarrassed as you obviously." He said, then reached over to turn the lamp off. "We are both fans of the show and we've seen them before, if it will make you feel any better we'll watch it in the dark so I can't see you blushing."

"Fine, but if the sex makes you horny, you can keep that shit to yourself." I said hiding my face against his bare chest.

"As you wish." He said leaning his face on my head, but then I gasped when I spotted the edge of his ink showing just above the low slung waistband of his sleep pants. "What's wrong?" He asked when I gasped. I couldn't stop myself, I ran my fingers over the exposed ink.

Edward let out a very odd noise that was sort of a cross between a growl and moan, then pulled my hand away. "Not tonight, I'll show you some other time." He said quickly almost like he was short of breath, as he grabbed a cushion and placed it on his lap covering his hips to keep me off them.

"Sorry... I didn't mean..." I spluttered out.

"Bella, it's fine, you tickled me and I, I need to use the bathroom." He said getting up and taking the cushion with him, then he practically ran up the stairs to get away from me. _Niiice, he can't even tolerate skin to skin contact with you, you repulse him so much he ran away.._. Fuck you Assbutt, I hate you!

Ten minutes later Edward still hadn't come out of the bathroom, so I switched off the TV, he could just let himself out of the house if he wanted to leave. I went to my room and curled up in my cold bed, how could I have been so stupid? Why did I touch him like that? I had ruined it, frightened away my friend, I'm such a loser, Assbutt was right. I felt the horrific pain in my chest and a sob escaped my lips as I curl around my pillow.

"Hey, Buttercup what's happened?" Edward asked crawling under the covers beside me and pulling me into his arms.

I clutched him to me, relieved that he was still here. "I-I th-thought you'd l-left." I just about managed to say.

"Why would I leave?" He asked stroking his hand up and down my back, I'm not going anywhere, not without you." He said kissing the top of my head.

"I-I thought you were disgusted because I t-touched you." I said.

He lifted my chin and then wiped away my tears. "I could never be disgusted with you, ever." He said, then he took my hand and placed it flat over his heart and held it there. "See, not disgusted, just really ticklish." He said.

"Really?" I asked and then bit my lip to stop myself from smiling, I flexed my fingers against his chest.

"Don't even think about it." He said narrowing his eyes at me, I could have started a tickle war at that moment, but I was so relieved that he was still here that I let it go. Just then something banged against the bins in the street and Edward jumped out of bed to look out of the window.

A few minutes later he returned to bed, "its all arranged for next Monday." Edward said

"What is?" I asked, not sure what he was referring to.

"Jazz will pick you up from school on his bike and drop you off at the fancy dress shop on his way to work, then you'll work with me until we finish at five." He said but it was too dark to see his face, so I had no clue to what he was thinking.

"And Kate won't mind?" I asked.

"She said that with the extra help during the week she can let James leave a few hours early each weekday he works, then he can work all day Saturday instead, so she's happy." He said, I tried to not let my disappointment show, I wouldn't see much of Jazz next week.

"When did you arrange this?" I asked confused.

"I called them whilst you were in the shower." He said, I felt him shrug.

"So I won't see much of Jasper next week?" I asked for conformation.

"It's only for a week, then you will finish school and will be with Jazz until two thirty every day." He said, I nodded, I could live with that. I loved spending time with them both, I didn't want to miss any time with them if I could help it.

Twenty minutes after the first disturbance there was another one, this time it was a loud band against the fence in the back yard, Edward went to look through the window, but again he saw nothing and came back to bed. Fifteen minutes later we both got out of bed and made our way in the dark down to the kitchen.

"I'm going to sneak outside in a minute, so that I am out there when the next disturbance occurs. I don't care what you hear or how long I am gone, you do not come outside, understand?" He asked.

"But what if you are hurt?" I asked nervously.

"Then I'll be working my way back to the door and will tell you when you can open the door." He said. "You do not open the door for anyone but me, okay?" He asked, so I nodded. "I need you to give me your word Bella, that you wont come out and you wont let anyone in but me." He said.

I sighed, "I promise."

"Okay, you lock the door behind me, okay?" He said as he unlocked the door, I nodded and locked it the moment he closed it behind him. I was worried sick, what if something happens to him? What if its an ax murderer and not Mike? I shook that idea out of my head, I could dream up enough problems without going there.

Minutes later there was a bang against the gate followed by scuffling but then it was quiet but for some faint muffled sounds. It was a full seven and a half minutes before I heard Edwards voice at the door.

"Bella, honey, it's Edward... let me in." Edward said from right outside the door, I opened the door and pulled him inside before locking the door again. Edward turned on the light but I had already gasped and grabbed a hold of his arms, that had been lit by the moonlight coming through the back door. "I'm fine Bella, really, its not my blood." He said as I pulled him over to the sink and turned on the faucet.

"Who was it?" I asked as I used a clean dish towel to clean the blood off his knuckles.

"Newton, I don't think he'll come round again in a hurry, but Jazz and I will stay with you still just in case." He said.

"Oh Edward... your hands." I almost sobbed when the blood had washed away and left cuts and bruises on his knuckles.

"It's nothing, I'll be okay Buttercup, seriously don't worry about it." He said, but I went to the freezer anyway and wrapped another dish towel around a bag of peas and placed it over the worst of the cuts on his right hand. "Come on." he said urging me back into the hallway, "lets go back to bed and see if we can finally get some sleep."

"Goodnight Buttercup." Edward said pulling me close to his side as I continued to hold the frozen peas on his hand.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" I asked.

"You don't like it?" He countered.

"It's not that I don't like it... I just wondered why you would name me after a weed." I admitted.

He chuckled, "It's from the Princess bride, it was my favorite movie when I was little, I thought it suited you." He said kissing the top of my head.

"Okay poison oak, if you say so." I said making him chuckle.

"So I'm an annoying rash now?" He asked.

"Hey if I'm an invasive weed, then why not." I pointed out.

"I think you might change your mind after seeing the movie." He said.

"So what would you prefer me to call you?" I asked.

"Goodnight Buttercup." He said switching off the bedside light.

"Goodnight Edwaaard." I said with a yawn, he mumbled something that sounded like 'you can call me The dread pirate Roberts,' but I obviously misheard, that didn't make any sense at all.

**A/N** Thanks for reading. So, a few of you have begged and pleaded with me to make this a poly story... and some have refused to read if it is... So stuck between a rock and a hard place I had some pondering to do, I will continue this story the way it was intended... if the three of them are meant to be together then so be it, but it will be because the story goes that way and NOT because I purposely send it that way. At this moment in time I don't know, I have a few chapters written from the middle and one from what I consider near the end (a little romance) so I know mostly who Bella will end up with. This is a HEA story.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, faved &/or followed, YOU are AWESOME! **

**Chapter seven has been edited and slightly rewritten, more at the end of this chapter on why... Now on with your xmas prezzie... EDWARD!**

_**Chapter eight, (Outtakes 1)**_

Edward's POV

I'd just showered and changed and was walking back into my room when Mom walked in, looking at me pointedly. "What?" I asked.

"She's very young."

"She's just a friend Mom." I said not meeting her eagle eyed gaze.

She sighed, "don't you think you have enough problems fitting in around here without courting the police chiefs under aged daughter?"

"Not courting, just friends." I said again, her eyes searching my face, I could feel them as I looked for clean sleep pants."

"Hmm, so you said." I knew that she knew better, but that really was the truth, there was nothing going on between us, Bella wasn't ready for more.

"Anyway she's seventeen in a couple of months." I pointed out, I'm not sure why I felt I needed to say that, but I felt I should point that out.

"Edward, you will be leaving for college before then, please don't do anything else that could ruin your future." She almost whispered her eyes clenched shut in pain.

"I'm not!" I said exasperated, then sighed when I could see the disbelief in her eyes. "Look, if you need the truth then I will give you what I can of it, but just bear in mind that I can't tell you much as it's Bella's life so it's her story to tell, not mine." I said finally meeting her scrutinizing gaze, she waited silently for me to continue. "She's been through a lot of shit Mom, she's struggled alone for so long and finally she has friends to turn to, friends who care about her." I said.

"She has her own family too." She pointed out, folding her arms across her chest.

"No, she doesn't, she's like Jazz and me, she doesn't fit in anywhere, but she does with us, we care about her..." I said.

"Well that is pretty evident, neither one of you can keep your eyes off her." Mom said.

"That's just it, we're waiting for her to break down or something... but she needs us Mom, have you any idea what it feels like to be needed?" I asked.

"I have a vague recollection, you haven't needed me in years."

"That's not what I mean..." I said getting more exasperated, this was too difficult to explain without going into detail.

"Then explain it to me, otherwise I am not letting you go out again tonight, don't think I don't know you are planning to spend the night with her." She said, her eyebrows raised daring me to contradict her.

"If I tell you something, do you promise not to repeat it to anyone... not even Dad."

"I don't keep secrets from your father, I don't intend to start now." She said.

"Then I can't tell you."

"Is this something illegal?" She asked.

"No, nothing like that, but if Dad found out he may be obliged to contact the authorities." I said sitting down on my bed and burying my face in my hands. I felt the bed move beside me and Moms arm wrapped around my shoulders as she hugged me to her.

"I won't tell your father... unless I think it's necessary, but please, talk to me Edward." She said moving her hand to rub my back. So I did, I told her as much of what we had figured out about what Newton had done to Bella, about her lack of parental guidance, all of it."

"Oh that poor child." Mom sobbed before I'd finished.

"So, you see why Jazz and I need to protect her?" I asked, she wiped the tears from her face and I handed her a tissue from my bedside table. "We think he's been trying to get into her house at night, she's been scared and alone and getting no sleep since Friday. I have to stay with her Mom, I can't let him touch her again." I said almost in a sob myself.

"But surely her father knows she's been seeing this boy, someone must know what's been going on."

"She didn't even know Mom, she's so sweet and innocent and everyone treats her like shit, from what I can tell her 'father...'" I said using the word father like a curse word in his case. "Has been encouraging him, the whole town thinks he can do no wrong."

"Oh sweet Jesus, that poor child... you wouldn't..." she paused. "I can trust you not to hurt her though?" She asked looking up at me.

"She's the loveliest, kindest, sweetest, most adorable girl I ever met, I'd die before I hurt her." I said emphatically.

"Does she know that she has stolen your heart?" She asked, I gasped and opened my mouth to protest, but what was the point... she was right. I shook my head, because lets face it, Bella had no idea.

"How could she not know? It's written all over your face, Jasper's too." She said making me grimace, I loved Jazz like a brother but he wanted the girl I loved, he didn't love her like I did. Jasper was still screwing around with Maria, I hadn't so much a looked at another girl since Bella started to hang out with us. "I could tell you the exact date she took your heart..." Mom said getting my attention back, that day you took her to the diner, I'd never seen you smile like that... you were already in love with her I think." She said watching my face closely.

I sighed. "She doesn't know because she is so convinced that she is unlovable, that's she's not worth it. I very much doubt she'd believe either of us if we told her how we felt." I said.

"Then it's up to both of you to show her that she is worth it..." She said, my mouth dropped open and I stared at my mother in shock. "Not like that, she's not seventeen yet, no I mean by the way you treat her, show her how much you care... I know you don't like anyone to know how much of a teddy bear you are, I think in her case you need to do just that." She said.

"I'm trying, but a lifetime of being made to feel like you are not good enough isn't going to change overnight." I said. "Especially when I have to protect her from everyone else." I said sadly.

She kissed my cheek. "Okay, just promise me that if anything happens, anything at all... you will call me immediately."

"I will." I promised.

"And the three of you should come here for dinner on Sunday, I'd like the chance to get to know her myself."

"I'd like that too, thanks Mom." I said kissing her cheek before I ran back to the bathroom to get my toothbrush.

I said a quick 'see ya' to Mom before I ran back down stairs to the TV room where Bella and Jazz were waiting for me. I felt my body stiffen when I saw Jazz's arm around Bella, she looked comfortable beside him. For now though she needed us both, so as much as I hated it, I was going to have to deal with it. Not the easiest thing in the world to do when I get hard every time she so much as touches me, the girl had me wrapped around her finger and she didn't even know it. Just thirty-five minutes and I already missed seeing her, I watched the smile light up her face as I walked in, damn... she was so freaking gorgeous! I really hoped that having me around tonight would give her the peace of mind she needed to sleep. Though there was a tiny part of my brain, tiny but getting bigger the more I thought about it. The part of me that hoped she'd be worried enough to need me in her bed with her, there was nothing in this world that felt as good as I did when I held her in my arms. She was the one, my Princess Buttercup, my first, last and only love, I just wish I knew how she felt about me. She hides her emotions so well most of the time, it's difficult to tell, It's only when Jazz or I hold her that any of her true emotions come out, usually when she's upset. And there is nothing that can make me angrier than seeing someone upset her, all I want to do is protect her, it's the least she deserves. If she'd let me, I'd give her the damn world and if she were to pick me I would. But if she were to pick Jazz I would be prepared to share, I just couldn't give her up. Were the roles reverse though and she picked me, I wouldn't be able to share her, it might be fucked up but its true... I want her for myself but I will take what I can get, for now that is friendship, I will treasure being her friend, it's enough... for now.

**A/N** Thanks for reading.

After quite the deliberation, I am now listening to myself, so since some of you want this to be a poly story... and some have refused to read if it is, I will continue this story the way it was intended... if the three of them are meant to be together then so be it, but it will be because the story goes that way on its own and NOT because I purposely send it that way. It's way to early to say with 100% certainty, but for now at least they are friends, that said this is a HEA story, with some romance along the way.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, faved &/or followed, YOU are totally AWESOME! Happy NEW YEAR to you all :***

**Chapter nine.**

The final week of school was over in a rush, I got to go to Edward and Jasper's graduation which was fun, with the exception of seeing my father there in support of Mike. Dad thought I was there for Mike too and insisted we go with his family to dinner. I told him I didn't want to and that Mike and I were no longer together but he wouldn't hear me. No matter what I said, he insisted that Mike was the best I could ever get and I should be grateful he wants to be with me. I couldn't stay and listen to him praising St Mike any longer so I feint illness and went home with Jazz and Edward to have dinner with Edward's parents. I'd made them a graduation cake, it was huge so I couldn't believe when at the end of the night it was almost all gone.

I quickly got into a routine of spending my mornings with Jasper. Sometimes we'd go for long rides on his motorbike, or hiking in the forest, or simply staying out of the rain and watching a movie. Yesterday we'd been on the internet and looked up different breads and pastries, so we'd spent most of the morning shopping in Port Angeles for the ingredient's before Jazz had to drop me off to work at the fancy dress store. Working with Edward was always fun, yesterday he'd spent the afternoon chasing me around the store wearing vampire teeth.

"I vant to drink your blood." He'd said.

So I of course replied with, "Bite me!" Then screamed and ran off when he tried to bite my neck, he caught me easily and pinned me on my back on top of the pallet of new stock we were supposed to be unloading, then Kate had sprayed us with the new super soaker she'd just filled with water. Fortunately Edward was on top of me so he got the worst of it. Kate made him walk around in wet clothes for the rest of the afternoon, which made him sulk but he refused to take the vampire teeth out. We messed around a lot at work, but Kate was always... ALWAYS playing jokes on everyone. Most of the time she had a buzzer strapped to her hand and every time she touched you, she'd give you an electric shock. After a few weeks I think Kate broke my blush, you'd think that Edward and I were dating the amount she teased us. It never seemed to bother him though, he'd just grin at her teasing, not bothered at all, in fact I think he rather enjoyed it, secretly I did too. It just got worse when Kate started calling me Princess Buttercup, I really should watch that movie, I think I'm the only person who hasn't seen it. I was forced to walk around in a tiara everyday for a week, apparently it was my punishment for not having seen the best movie of all time. As everyone who worked at the store seemed to be a little crazy, none of the customers seemed to really notice. Edward barely left my side and seemed to be perpetually happy seeing me wear the tiara.

Edward stayed at my house most nights, Jazz only occasionally as he was seeing Maria a lot more these days. He said something about needing the relief more often, but never explained why, I was okay with that. The weather had actually been really hot and dry for Forks so I'd been reduced to wearing little tops and shorts most of the time. I teased Edward and Jazz so much they eventually gave in to me and the heat and started wearing shorts too. I don't know what they were so worried about, they always looked good no matter what they wore. I was quite surprised to discover that I was attracted to hairy legs, let alone men's feet, I spent an abysmal amount of time staring at Edward's bare feet on my coffee table. I know that he is well over six foot tall but seriously, his feet are huge, I put my bare leg next to Edwards, he was sat beside me and I could feel his eyes on me as I measured the tip of my toes against his foot. My foot was only just over half the size of his, I threw my leg over his and tried to measure my big toe against his.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing." I whispered as I gaped at the difference in size.

"You're up to something" He said moving his arm that was over my shoulders and pulling me into his lap. "What are you up to?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said again, which just made him chuckle and start tickling me, I squirmed on his lap and tried to get away.

"Stop it." I squealed.

"Tell me." He said crossing his arms over me and tickling opposite side of me so that I was pinned against him.

"Okay, okay, just stop." I choked, panting.

"So?" He asked.

"I just have never looked at guy's feet before..." I admitted.

"And?"

"They're so, big..."

"And you know what they say about guys with big feet?" He asked.

"They need really big boots?" I asked, he pulled me back against his chest, wrapping his arms back around me as he chuckled into my hair.

"So what did you discover about my big feet?" He asked.

"I don't know, I guess I never thought of feet as sexy before now." I admitted, I could hear him grinning.

"You think I have sexy feet?" He asked. "Are you developing a foot fetish? If so you can totally suck my toes I won't mind."

"Eww, that's disgusting." I said, trying to wriggle out of his embrace.

"No it's not, I just said I'm okay with it if that's what you want to do." He said holding me tighter.

"I think I'll survive without thanks." I muttered as he moved his face off my head and slid his nose up my neck to my ear.

"So, is it just my feet you like or are there other parts of me you find sexy?" He whispered in my ear. Head spinning, stomach crunching and Kegel exercising muscles in my shorts in response, I blinked a few times until I could think straight, my heart was racing.

"If you are looking for someone to boost your ego, then I really think you should find yourself a girlfriend, I'm so not getting into this." I said.

"You started it, you said you thought I had sexy feet, I just wondered if it was just my feet you found sexy? Besides I'm pretty sure there isn't a woman alive who would tolerate me staying with you all the time, let alone every night." He said.

"True, but I'm still not stroking your ego." I pointed out. I could feel his wicked smile in response.

"My ego is just fine, though he too is more than happy if you change your mind, we are both very open to being stroked." He said. I gasped and turned in his arms.

"You are so bad." I giggled as I shoved at his chest.

"Hey, what can I say, you are so easy to tease and I just love it when you blush." He said loosening my ponytail as he buried his face in my hair again.

That was the thing about spending so much time with both Edward and Jasper, we were now so much closer as friends and I found it easier to talk and joke with them. It didn't however change much in how I felt about them, except that my feelings might be even stronger now. I loved them both so much for what they did for me, how they treated me and especially for how they made me feel. I'd never been this close to anyone in my entire life, so I couldn't really express how I felt, I just knew that they meant the world to me.

**~0~**

Mike only showed up once after the night that Edward had beaten the hell out of him, it was about two weeks later, both Jazz and Edward had stayed over. They were both outside with him for ages, it wasn't until three days later that I heard Mike had to go to hospital for stitches. Apparently my dad was looking for the people who were responsible for jumping Mike. I wouldn't know if it was true, I hadn't seen or heard from my dad since graduation and he hadn't been home for weeks. Not since I'd stopped leaving out extra food, this fact really freaked Edward out and it wasn't much later when he had all the locks changed on the house just in case it was Mike getting in. I pointed out about doing my dads laundry, but in truth I hadn't really had to do that in months.

**~0~**

Dinner on Sundays at the Cullen's turned out to be much easier than I thought, after a few weeks of this I was arriving early and helping Esme getting dinner ready and I always made dessert. Esme was really sweet, I had worried that she wouldn't like me hanging out with her son, but she was more than happy with our friendship. She'd ask me endless questions about my life, I only agreed to fill her in when she started to tell me stories about Edward and Jasper growing up.

This Sunday however, Esme told Jasper and I to stay the night, so after a shower in Edward's bathroom I changed into a pair of Edward's old boxers that were too small and one of his old t-shirts. On the front of the t-shirt it said:

**My name is Inigo Montoya.**

**You killed my father.**

**Prepare to die.**

Apparently it was a quote from that movie again, I still hadn't gotten around to watching it yet, but I think that was now more to annoy Edward than anything. He seemed to take it personally that I still hadn't watched it. He'd ask every night if I wanted to watch it, I'd wrinkle my nose and say not tonight, he'd sigh and say. "As you wish." He said that a lot for some reason.

"What?" I asked as I walked out of the bathroom to see both Edward and Jasper sat on Edward's massive bed waiting for me. I had my arms folded across my chest self consciously as I didn't have my usual sleeping underwear with me.

"Oh, nothing..." Edward said, grinning so widely I thought his cheeks might just split open.

"What?" I asked turning to Jazz.

"I'm guessing he likes seeing you in his clothes." Jazz muttered.

"That's crazy talk, though its a good thing you don't wear this any more, if you wear this again people might start asking why its all stretched." I said indicating my chest, they both just stared at me like they had never seen breasts before. "What?" I asked when I got no response and they just kept staring.

"Where did those come from?" Jasper asked, indicating my chest.

"I found them in the cabinet."

"Well you didn't have them when you went in there and I'd remember if I had something like those in there." Edward said, still staring. I crossed my arms back over my chest, self conscious of them both staring still. "I'm sorry." Edward said getting up and moving towards me slowly, cupping my face with one of his hands and taking my hand with the other. "It's a guy thing, we can't help but stare." He said before dropping his hand from my flushed face and tugging me over to his bed.

"You're not wearing a bra?" Jazz said, as I sat on the bed near the headboard and slid under the sheet so I could cover myself to stop their staring.

"Obviously." I muttered under my breath, Jasper rolled over and moved up the bed to sit next to me.

"Hey." He said resting his head on my shoulder. "They weren't there when you came to bed last night."

"Oh god Jazz, will you please stop staring at them." I said elbowing him.

"Can't, they're amazing."

"Oh my god." I said pulling the sheet up higher until it was under my chin, "I sleep in a bra at home, okay." I said covering my face with my hands.

Edward slipped into bed on the other side of me. "Why would you squash those into a bra to hide them away?" He asked.

"If you don't stop staring I'm going home alone, besides... isn't it obvious?" I asked, they both shook their heads and growled 'no,' but I'm not sure which question they were answering. I sighed. "These have grown a lot in the last few months, I only have sports bras and being as your reaction was the same as the guys at school, why wouldn't I hide them? I get called fat enough as it is without these making my life more intolerable." I pointed out.

Jasper threw his arm around me just as Edward pulled me into a hug, so I ended up being squashed between the two of them.

"Smug bastard." Jasper muttered after a few minutes.

"What?" I asked pulling away from them slightly to see their faces.

He frowned at Edward, who I could see was grinning like crazy. "Definitely not fat and most definitely not something to hide." Edward said looking down at where my chest was pressed against him.

"Pervert." I said shoving him away, admittedly the closer we all became the more open they had been with me, but still this was way beyond embarrassing.

He laughed as he pulled me back and moved us until we were lying down. "Can't argue with that." He said still chuckling. "I'll talk to Mum tomorrow, she can take you shopping to get something that fits so that you don't have to squash those magnificent assets." He said, pulling me closer as Jazz lay down on the other side of me.

This was a different experience altogether in my bed, where there was barely room for two let alone the three of us. I lay on my back in the hope that gravity would lessen my breast size, which it did considerably, but they were still obvious through the sheet.

"If you don't stop staring, I'm telling everyone about you two sharing a bed together." I said. No one said a word, but the light was turned off instantly.

It was a while later before anyone spoke, I felt Edward turn onto his side and he placed his arm over my waist to pull me closer to him.

"Tell me about your parents." He said.

"There isn't much to tell, I don't really know them and what I do know is mostly guess work." I said.

"Tell me what you do know, I want to know what makes you, you." He said.

"I hardly think they have had anything to contribute since the whole DNA contribution thing, but I think that my Dad got drunk and slept with my Mom at a party in college, he was on a break from his long time girlfriend or something. My Mom only got in touch with him to let him know she was pregnant and he didn't want to know, in fact he denied having been with her as he was back with his girlfriend. Mom was so upset that she wanted an abortion but Gran wouldn't let her, after I was born she left home and left me with Gran." I explained ending with a shrug.

"So what happened when your Gran died?" Jazz asked.

"I'm still a minor so they found my mothers name on my birth certificate and she wanted nothing to do with me. So they contacted my Dad and I think they threatened to expose that he had abandoned his daughter, if he didn't take me in. I used to see him about once a week, then he arranged for me to have credit at the grocery store so he didn't come over so much. Then when he introduced me to Mike..." I said but Edward interrupted me.

"He introduced you to that fuckhead?" He growled.

I nodded, "he saw it as a reason not to bother with me, once he had Mike looking out for me." I explained, Edward got up suddenly and it sounded like he'd ripped the door from its hinges but he couldn't have as he slammed it behind him, causing me to jump almost out of my skin.

"It's okay." Jasper whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "He's just really pissed at your parents right now, he needs to vent." He explained.

"It's not bothering you though." I pointed out.

"Not my house to smash, but believe me, right now I'd really like to break something, preferably Newtons face, or maybe the DNA contributor's face, chief of police or not, either would do, maybe both." He said, squeezing me to him. "You deserve so much better than that." He said.

Edward came back not much later, apologizing and trying to pull me away from Jasper.

"Hey this is my hot water bottle, go get your own." Jazz said.

"She is my hot water bottle, you've just stolen her from me, now I want her back." Edward said.

"No chance, she's mine, all mine." Jazz said pulling me further away from Edward.

"Hey, you have Maria keeping you warm most nights, Bella is my bed warmer." Edward argued finally pulling me away from Jasper, who humphed, growled something under his breath and sat up.

"That's not fair." He complained.

"Oh my god, it's worse that being stuck between Tanya and Maggie when they are arguing, you two are worse than a pair of girls." I told them.

"Who's Tanya?" Edward asked and I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, "what?" He asked.

"That is priceless." I said still giggling.

"What is?" They both asked.

"Tanya has been saying for weeks that she has and I quote 'had you both multiple times' and has now been 'servicing you' Edward every day." I informed him, making him snort. "Not sure that's even possible as apart from when you are at work, you are always with me. But now you say you don't even know who she is... totally priceless." I said giggling again.

"Wait... Maggie is Liam's little sister right? Fuck... that's her friend, the bleach blond stick insect with the socks in her bra isn't it?" Edward asked with a shudder.

"Socks in her bra?" I asked confused.

"Oh yeah totally, that chick is so skinny her bones must be like chicken bone thin, if those tits are real I'll eat my mothers cooking." Jasper said. "Wouldn't be with a chick like that, ever, fucking her would probably break her bones, which could slice off my dick.. nu uh not a chance in hell." Jasper said, though I only heard half of what he said as I was laughing so hard.

**_A/N Thanks for reading. As always let me know if you are enjoying this story..._**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, you guys are so AMAZING! Kisses! I'm still being asked if this is an Edward/Bella, Jasper/Bella or poly story... still not telling XD**

**Chapter ten**

I woke up boiling hot the next morning, I was flat on my back with one of Jasper's legs wrapped around one of mine, his fingers inside the top of my underwear which technically meant that he had his hand inside Edward's boxers, I had to stifle my giggle at that thought. Edward's leg was wrapped around my other leg and his hand was under my t-shirt and skimming the underside of my breast. This intimate touching alone made my heart race, but the thing that really made me gasp though, was the fact that I could feel both of them... well, their morning wood at any rate, pressing against each of my thighs. Mostly owing to the fact that they woke before me, I'd never experienced this before, I was more than slightly traumatized by it now. Initially I was turned on of course, I mean who wouldn't be? But then I took notice of the size of them both, easily bigger than the size of Mike's er... wood. That was when I realized that, if it hurt like hell with Mike, there was no way in hell that I could ever be with either of them the way I wanted to. It would just not be physically possible. I felt the crushing weight of this fact in my chest and my stomach, I slid out of bed and just about made it to the bathroom before I threw up.

I had fought against my self-conscience for weeks but all I had been doing was fighting the inevitable. I could never be anything but friends with either of them... never anything more, I threw up again. I hadn't realized just how much I had wanted... more.

"Bella?" Jasper called from the bedroom, but it was Edward that reached the bathroom first.

"Buttercup?!" He almost cried when he saw me on the floor next to the toilet.

I slowly looked up at his beautiful, worried face, the face of my friend, I felt my lip begin to quiver as I dropped down to the floor, heart broken for wanting something that I now knew for certain, I could never have.

Edward lifted me off the floor and sat me in his lap, moving my now damp hair off my face and Jasper knelt in front of me wiping my face with a damp face cloth. I could give them no more than friendship, I was just too tight, it wasn't possible for me.

"No more what? What's too tight? Bella what's wrong?" Edward asked as he stroked my hair, I hadn't realized that I'd said that out loud, I certainly hadn't meant to.

"Bella, Baby?" Jasper said as he caressed my face. "What's wrong, does your stomach hurt?" He asked as he searched my face for answers. No, not my stomach... it's my heart, I think its broken, I could feel the tears run down my face.

"What's broken?" Jasper asked, worry written all over his face.

"Bella?" I heard Esme call as she rushed into Edward's bathroom. "Sweetheart what's wrong? Are you sick?" She asked feeling my forehead.

"I, I..." I tried to speak but for some reason I just couldn't find the words and I sobbed instead. I heard them talking but I couldn't make out what they were saying, I could feel fresh tears on my face. I was even more emotional than ever, maybe it was my period? I tried to think what day it was but I couldn't, I needed to check that.

"It's just you and me now Sweetheart, can you tell me what made you sick?" Esme said, I blinked and looked around, it was indeed just the two of us, I was so out of it.

"I think... I think I must be getting my period, I'm so emotional and my brain isn't functioning right." I said, she smiled sympathetically.

"Let's get you dressed and home, or would you prefer to eat first?" She asked.

"Just a minute to freshen up and brush my teeth, then I should really get home." I said.

"Okay, but if you need anything, anything at all... please let me know, okay?" She asked, she was just so nice, I managed a smile and nodded. She left me alone in the bathroom.

**~0~**

It was quiet in the car on the way home, I could sense Edward side glancing at me and Jasper's eyes from the back seat, but they never said anything. The way I'd been acting they were probably worried I'd burst into tears at any given moment, well I did feel like I could if truth be told. Once we arrived I thought Edward would just drop Jasper and I off before going to work, but he came around to my door and opened it. He took my hand in his and led me up the porch steps to the front door.

"I'll be fine, I'm just a little emotional, but I'm not sick." I said to him. "Get going or you will be late for work." I told him.

Jasper took my keys from me and opened the front door, but the noise that followed made no sense at all. A cold breeze rushed noisily through the house as if the back door was open but was wedged to prevent it from slamming shut. They both changed instantly, Edward moved me towards Jasper who pulled me into his arms and Edward grabbed the first thing that came to hand, which just happened to be my umbrella. As we moved towards the kitchen we could see glass all over the floor, lots of it, someone had smashed the window of the backdoor in. Edward and Jasper grabbed knives from the drawer and we moved from room to room quietly checking that no one was in here. Jasper holding me tight to his side as Edward took the lead, but nothing seemed out of place, nothing until we reached my bedroom. We had searched the entire house first and no one was there, but my bedroom was trashed, my closet door was open, clothes slashed and thrown everywhere. My underwear was gathered in a pile on the bed, all ripped to pieces.

"What the fuck? Is that..?" Jazz said, wide-eyed as he looked down at my underwear.

"Newton!" Edward growled.

"He's jizzed all over her panties, the sick fuck." Jazz growled.

Oh my god, he really was sick! Why? Why would he do this? I felt my legs give out as my room began to spin around me.

**~0~**

"Mrs C, it's Jasper, something has happened, could you come to Bella's? No... Yeah, soon as you can... No, I'm gonna call now, okay." I heard Jasper on his cell.

"Hey." Edward said to me as he stroked my hair, I was lying on my sofa, Edward was kneeling on the floor beside me.

"Hey Kate, it's Jazz... er yeah I am... no, no nothing like that... yeah, something has happened. No you don't need... I, okay, see you in a few." Jasper said before he hung up. "Your Mom and Kate are both on their way over." Jazz said as he sat on the armrest beside my head.

Okay, so I was not having the best day, I thought to myself as Edward and Jasper fussed over me and tried to get me to eat breakfast. I couldn't face having any food, I'd just end up losing it if I did, maybe I should just go back to bed and forget this day ever happened. Then I remembered the state I'd seen my bed in, I was almost positive that I wouldn't want to sleep in it again. I was certainly going to be burning my clothes and sheets that's for sure.

**~0~**

"What are you trying to say, exactly?" Kate asked Edward. "Are you telling me that our Princess isn't safe with your Mother and I?"

"No, I didn't say that, I just think it's best if I come with you." Edward said.

"Shopping for girl's clothes?" Kate questioned, he shrugged. "If you think coming along will get you an inside look into her panties... Well I think your mother might have a problem with that." Kate continued teasingly, I blushed and looked anywhere but at Esme.

Edward turned a shade of vermilion and stuttered. "Th-that's n-not w-what I meant at all."

"Go to work, Bella will be perfectly fine picking her own sexy undies without your help." Kate said, sending my cheeks up in flames too.

Edward pulled off his sweater and held it up for me, I was only in the t-shirt he'd loaned me and my shorts from yesterday, along with his boxers. Once in his sweater, which was actually a sweater dress on me. He removed one of his studded belts and put it around my waist, he hugged me tightly before I got into Esme's car.

Esme had wanted to call the police after seeing the state of my room, but I had convinced her that it was a waste of time, Mike could do no wrong as far as the police chief was concerned. Mike had been invited in to the house on numerous occasions, so his DNA would obviously be here, I had no proof. Mike could easily form excuses for it all, no one would believe anything I said against Mike. Esme had not been happy about it, but she did insist that for the time being at least I would be staying at the Cullen residence.

I had tried to convince Esme and Kate that going to Port Angeles for clothes was pointless, I didn't have money to get much, just the money I'd earned working for Kate. This fell on deaf ears as they insisted I needed more, Kate reminding me that I needed an outfit for Friday. I was really looking forward to Friday and spending the weekend in Portland, but mostly because of the Hoobastank concert on Friday night. So really I only needed enough clothes to last until I could get more in Portland.

Kate found a gorgeous tartan, pleated mini-skirt, that was perfect for the concert, I got some fishnets stockings and red Doc Martins. Kate found a black top with Princess written across the front in pink, I shook my head at her, but laughing at me she bought it anyway. Esme took me into a dressing room with a few Wonderbra's, that was embarrassing enough but when an assistant followed me into the cubicle and started fitting it properly, well my face was hotter than Mount Doom. I guess I shouldn't complain they aren't called Wonderbra's for nothing, hell I didn't even know I had... er, how did the assistant phrase it? The perfect rack, or something? I doubted that very much but I had to admit they made me look very different from my sports bras. I couldn't help but grin at my reflection in the mirror, I was so not going to school looking like this, I'd never hear the end of it.

Edward called Esme a few times to check on me and asked her to get me a leather jacket, she did too... a red, cropped one, to match my Docs. My outfit for Friday was complete sans panties, I still wasn't sure about the princess top, but heck I intended to buy a tour t-shirt on the night so I could swap it then.

"The underwear selection is abysmal." Kate complained.

"They have white cotton panties, what more does a girl need... well part from black cotton ones for weeks like this." I said, I had been right after all, the craving for saltines and chocolate was a dead give away that it was my period causing my overemotional reaction this morning. Well okay maybe not, but that was the reasoning I was choosing to believe. "It's not like anyone is ever going to see them." I pointed out, she snorted and shook her head at me.

**~0~**

Once we got back from Port Angeles we went back to my house to collect a few things then Kate went back to the store and Esme took me back home with her. Unbeknown to me she had bought me a cell phone, she was so worried that something would happen to me that she needed to know that I could call for help, especially once Edward and Jasper had left for college. I tried to say that it would be fine as Mike would be gone too, but she wanted to be sure, she really wasn't prepared to take no for an answer. Eventually she said it was for her own peace of mind and I really couldn't deny her that.

I was given Esme's cell number, along with Carlisle's, Kate's, Edward's and Jasper's, it took me ages to work out the instructions but eventually I managed to send texts to them all, to give them the number to my first ever cell phone. I'd never needed one before, Gran wouldn't use one and I had no one else to phone or text, so I never needed to use one.

**This is my very first text from my very first cell, hope I've done it right x Bella.** I text to them all.

**About fucking time, I've been worried sick about you all day, are you coming in soon, I miss you x Edward.** My heart clenched painfully in my chest as I read his text.

**I'm fine, staying home with your Mom, so I can cook you dinner, your favorite – lamb pot roast! Miss you too x Bella.**

**The idea of you waiting at home for me and cooking my favorite meal is doing things to me, much more of this and I may have to marry you Buttercup x Edward.**

**As long as you don't mind sharing x Bella.** I sent back smiling like a fool at his teasing.

**Why the hell would I share my wife?! ****O.o**

**I meant dinner! ****R****olling my eyes at you right now... go do some work, my cell keeps beeping I can only assume someone else is texting me x Bella.**

**I suppose I don't mind sharing dinner, but only dinner... who else has your number already? :( Edward.**

**And sharing your bed and your boxers and your toothbrush apparently. Just you, Jazz, Kate, your Mom and Dad have my number x Bella.**

**And here I thought I was special :'( Buttercup you wound me x Edward.**

**Well you are, very special, hence me cooking your favorite for everyone. (As in not anyone else's favorite) and I texted you first :P Bella.**

**Ok slightly appeased, but still think you owe me x Edward.**

**How about I let you sleep with me tonight? ;) Bella.** I text laughing to myself.

**Grrr, like I'd give you the option not to, not good enough... I want more x Edward.** He text, I knew he was just teasing but my breath caught and my pulse quickened at his response.

**Oookaaay, maybe I could give you a preview of the new mini-skirt I got for the concert on Friday, Kate reckons you'll love it x Bella.**

**You want to wear a mini-skirt to a Hoobastank concert? Are you crazy? Are we talking just above the knee length or something like those shorts you've been wearing that are not much wider than a belt? :s Edward.**

**Well if you wore it... it would definitely be a belt x Bella.**

When after several minutes Edward hadn't responded I checked on my other texts, the first from Carlisle.

**Esme told me what happened today, I'm glad that you are okay, please let me know if you need anything. Also don't hesitate to call if you need help. Carlisle.**

**Thank you, I really appreciate ****everything**** your family has ****already**** done for me, don't be too late home, I'm cooking pot roast. Bella.**

**I will definitely not be late then ;) Carlisle.** He text back immediately.

Next was a few replies from Jasper.

**Have been losing my mind here, U ok? Did you get lots of sexy new panties? XD Jazz.**

**I was just teasing about the panties, R U OK? Jazz.**

**Did you forget how to text already? Jazz.**

**Where are you Pumpkin? I'm getting worried here... Jazz.**

**Sorry, yes I'm fine, it's difficult to text more than one person at a time, I'm getting confused already x Bella.**

**You cheating on me by sexting other people already, Pumpkin how could you? :'( Jazz.**

**I'm not sexting anyone thank you very much, why are you calling me Pumpkin? :/ Bella.**

**I thought it only fair to give you a nickname since everyone else already has x Jazz.**

**Oh so the insults just keep coming, first I'm an invasive weed, then Kate makes me sound like a spoilt brat and now you... so I'm now a fat invasive orange spoilt weed, oh yeah I just LURVE the nicknames :P Bella.**

**:P Actually, the word PUMPKIN reminds me of my 3 favorite things, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie and because you make them both better than anyone else in the world, the name reminds me of you x Jazz.**

**Sweet talker, is this your round about way of asking me to make you pie and bread? If so I'm sorry but am cooking pot roast with ALL the trimmings, will save you some, will you make it over tonight? x Bella.**

**I came in early today so I should be able to make it for dinner ;) Jazz.**

I paused before sending the next text, it's a good thing text's don't show how much you stutter.

**Will you be staying tonight? Bella.**

**R U asking for a 3 sum again XD Jazz.**

**If this was a phone call I'd be hanging up on you right now :P Bella.**

**LMAO, I'll take any chance to get you between the sheets, you know that x Jazz.**

**Just so long as you keep your hand out of Edward's boxers this time x Bella.** I lmao'd at my response.

**YOU ARE EVIL! NEVER REPEAT THAT EVER AGAIN! EVER! Jazz.**

I checked on Kate's message next.

**Heard you are cooking pot roast, count me in. Kate.**

**What did you say to Edward? I think he's passed out. Kate**

**Yep definitely out of it, I just tasered him twice, he's just standing here with his mouth open staring at your text. No wait, I tried to take his phone and he's snapped out of it mumbling something about killing anyone who looks, or something. Anywho, catch you L8R. Kate.**

Finally I checked to see if Edward had responded yet... he had, kind of.

**I'm perfectly fine with you giving me a private preview of you in your belt/mini-skirt, but you will be wearing jeans to the concert x Edward.**

**Yes mother! No concert wear = No preview :P Bella.**

**Bella, be reasonable, I can't watch you and fight off every fucker there. Edward.**

**What do you mean? I don't want you fighting, why would you be fighting? Bella.**

**If you wear a mini-skirt, I'll be fighting every guy off you with a baseball bat. Edward.**

**Now who's crazy? No one will even notice me. Bella.**

**I know that you don't see yourself clearly, but just the thought of you in a mini-skirt... that image alone is enough to tell me that EVERY guy will be all over you. Edward.**

**So you think I'll look like a whore? B.** I couldn't breath, I dropped my cell on the table and grabbed a tissue from the counter top, I couldn't stop the flow of tears as they burst out of me as I sobbed. I ran from the kitchen, I needed to be away from everything, away from everyone. I could hear my cell started ringing behind me but I ignored it and ran to the backdoor, slipping out into the garage so I wouldn't alert Esme to my misery. My cell stopped ringing for a few seconds then started again, over and over again.

I was sat under the work bench on a shelf behind Esme's car, I was emotionally wrung out, sobbing because of how I had turned Edward against me. I didn't think I had been there long, maybe ten minutes when I heard Edward calling out my name, my cell still ringing incessantly inside the kitchen, I bit into my lip to quieten my sobs and cringed back against the wall. My silent tears ran down my face as his voice grew more distant and my cell finally stayed quiet, I lay down on my side as best I could in my cramped hiding space. Several minutes passed before I heard the backdoor open and Edward ran around Esme's car, calling my name, he didn't see me and I didn't answer.

"Bella!" He yelled, he sounded frantic as he ran around the garage. He ran to the door that led out into the yard, but turned back when he found it locked and as he turned he saw me. "Bella!" He sobbed and literally threw himself across the room and onto his knees in front of me.

He grabbed my arms and pulled me out of my hiding place and into his arms, holding me so tight it was painful to breathe. "I-I would never, could never think of you like that." He sobbed into my neck. "Fuck, Buttercup... you scared the living shit out of me, I-I thought you'd left me." He said kissing my neck, making me quiver as I tried to move my quivering chin away from him. "How could you think, I would think that Bella? The thought never crossed my mind, it never will, ever." He said rocking us both as he pulled me into his lap off the cold concrete floor.

He pulled back to see my face when I didn't respond, how could I? He looked at me with such pain and regret on his face that a sob escaped my mouth before I could stop it.

"Oh Buttercup, Baby, how could I ever mean that? You're perfect, you could never be a whore, I'm so sorry for making you think that I meant..." He was practically panting as he stroked my hair off my face and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry, so sorry." He repeated over and over, "I would never, I'm so sorry." He said.

"What the fuck did you do?" Jasper growled from behind Edward, I looked up and he looked furious, like he was ready to kill someone. "Let her go!" Jasper growled.

Edward shook his head, squeezed me tighter to his chest. "I can't, I won't." He said and I gasped as he squeezed me so tight I could barely breathe.

"You're hurting her." Jasper spat at him, making him loosen his grip, but he wouldn't let me go.

Edward stood cradling me, "how long before someone needs to work on dinner?" Edward asked me.

I sniffed and shrugged, "a-about an hour and a h-half." I sniffed.

"Edward." Jasper warned.

"Stay out of this Jazz, I need to be alone with Bella." Edward said, I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to say. I really needed for him to tell me again that I was mistaken that he didn't think of me that way. Mostly I needed to see him smile at me again, right now he seemed to be in so much pain, I hated it.

"Don't do this, not now." Jasper warned him.

"Do what?" I almost whispered.

"You and I are going to watch our movie." Edward replied.

_**A/N Okay so this chapter was a lot longer than I anticipated, most of this chapter was written during a very long and chilly power-cut, not easy typing by candle light for hours.**_

_**Soooo, Edward is going to make Bella watch 'THAT' movie, so she will know how he feels about her, how will she react? Especially now that she 'knows' she 'can't' be with him... And Jasper is not a happy bunny, do you think he may be realizing something really important is about to slip out of his grasp? How will he react to that?**_

_**Until next time...**_

_**Kisses... Mysty xxx**_


	11. Chapter 11

**My darling reviewers, I f-cooking love you! XD Beta'd by my wonderful Lady Seif. **

**Chapter eleven**

Edward carried me up the stairs to his bedroom in his arms, holding me tight against his chest until he placed me gently on his bed, he didn't say anything as he put the DVD in his TV. He seemed nervous as he came and sat on the bed leaning against the headboard, he pulled me backwards until I was sitting between his legs. Wrapping his arms around me he pulled my back against his chest and hugged me.

"You okay?" He whispered in my ear.

"I'm not sure, why are you so nervous?" I asked.

"I need you to know why I can't ever think badly of you, this film will explain how I feel better than I can explain it." He said resting his chin on my head. "And this way, I think you are more likely to believe it than if I told you how I feel about you." He said as the film began, I didn't exactly understand what he meant, why wouldn't I believe what he'd say?

I decided to concentrate on the film and see if it did indeed shed some light on what he thought he couldn't say.

The only words Wesley ever spoke to Buttercup were 'as you wish,' the very words that Edward kept saying to me. Buttercup realized that when he was saying, "as you wish," what he was really saying was, 'I love you.' I gasped and stopped breathing, this couldn't be real, Edward can't possibly mean that, how could he? I must have misunderstood what was said. I started to breathe again and Edward released me enough to rub his hands up and down my arms that were covered in goose pimples, that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room.

'This is true love, do you think this happens everyday? Know this... I will always come for you.' Holy Christ on a flat bread, is this what Edward was trying to tell me? This cannot be real, if it is real then life is dealing me one sick hand. I just find out that it will never be possible for us to be together and now he's telling me that he loves me? This cannot be true, it just can't, how could he love me? No one has ever been able to before, ever, that's just so unfair, I want to curl up and ball my eyes out. The only person to ever be able to love me and it's someone I can never be with, that just about sums up my life. My chest is tight and I am fighting back tears, but we continue to watch the film in silence, what I wouldn't give to be able to read his mind right now.

I was confused on some of the facts at several points during the movie, but after remembering Edward's mumbled, 'call me The Dread Pirate Roberts,' I almost choked. He was Buttercups one true love, they were meant to be together, but we were not them, I wasn't loveable like her, I was the Buttercup of her dream, a steaming pile of putrid filth.

"Hey, you okay? You're very quiet." Edward asked turning me enough to see my face, but I couldn't look at him, I turned to look the other way so he wouldn't see the tears fighting to leave my eyes.

He sighed heavily. "Now you know how I feel about you Bella, you are my Buttercup, I could never think of you as a whore, ever. I think the world of you, I always have." He said rubbing my back with one hand, the other hand trying to coax my chin up so that I would look at him. "I won't act on my feelings, I'll keep them in check, I just needed you to know how I felt. I know you don't feel that way about me, but maybe one day you will, I can wait. But please remember this, I will always come for you, not even death would keep me from you if you ever need me." He said, I was done for, his words were my undoing, I twisted in his arms and threw my arms around his neck sobbing my heart out. He meant the world to me too, but this was so unfair, I could not hold him back, he deserved to be with someone who could love him with everything they have and I could never do that. I wanted to, my God I wanted that more than anything, it would kill me to give him up, I guess I did have that in common with Buttercup after all.

Once I had quietened my sobs I pulled myself together and moved to sit beside him.

"Y-you will be off to college in just a couple of weeks, I'm pretty sure you will find s-someone..." I tried to say, but he placed his fingertips on my lips.

"Don't, don't say that, I might not be around, but you will always be my girl, Bella." He told me, I lifted my hand to pull his hand from my lips and kissed his fingertips before I moved it, his breath hitched.

He moved his hand and began to undo the belt on his jean's, "W-what are you doing?" I asked nervously.

He met my gaze, "I'm showing you my tattoo." He said, then smirked. "What did you think I was doing?"

I didn't need to answer, the blush on my face pretty much told him the answer. He pulled open his jeans and moved his boxer's to reveal his hip, I heart sped up at the sight of his hip bone, and my face almost burned with the intensity of my blush as pleasure rushed through me. I gasped when I saw the ink on his skin.

"I had this done the night we were with you at the diner, I think I knew then." He said as I tentatively lifted my hand and ran my fingertips along the sword inked into his skin, he breathing picked up and his lips parted as my fingertips ran over the words, 'As you wish.' Our eyes met and I was locked in his gaze for a long moment, unsure how to respond. Then the alarm went off on his phone, reminding me that I had a meal to prepare.

It was a good thing that I had another hour of cooking to do before I had to sit down with Edward and his family. My head was all over the place, literally I could not answer one question in my head without creating two more in it's place. Edward had reluctantly left me alone to go and talk to Jasper, it was painful to look at him, knowing what I wanted was right there for the taking but I couldn't really have it. I mean as much as I care about both Jasper and Edward, Edward was the one I had let into my heart. Edward had always been the one who climbed into my heart and wouldn't let go, I loved Jasper but it just wasn't the same. Maybe that's because Edward really had loved me all along, that was what I must have felt, but did that mean that I had to break his heart? How? How could I do that to him?

"Hey, what's wrong Buttercup?" Edward asked as he walked into the kitchen with Jasper following behind.

"Nothing, I'm just really busy." I said as he stood in front of me and took my face in his hands.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked wiping my wet cheeks with his thumbs.

"I hadn't realized I was, must be the onions." I said.

"You haven't used any onions." He said frowning, as he looked around the kitchen.

"It's... It's just that no one has ever loved me before... well apart from Mike in his weird way, so I'm not sure how I'm suppose to respond." I practically mumbled, he pulled me to his chest and hugged me.

"You react in whatever way you feel like." He informed me, I wrapped my arms around him, wishing that could be true.

"But your Gran must have loved you." He said, sounding confused. I choked a laugh in response but there was no humor in it.

"What?" Jasper and Edward said together, as I moved back to preparing dinner.

"My Gran was from a very old fashioned and stuck up family in England, as she used to put it, 'deary, we only show emotion to horses and dogs.'" I said imitating my Grans accent. "I remember that she hugged me once, when my dog died, I was fourteen and that was my first hug. Strange, I'd forgotten about that until just now." I said, as Edward moved behind me and squeezed the heck out of me.

"You were brought up by someone who showed you no love or emotion? How the fuck did you become such a caring, giving person with so much love to give?" He murmured in my ear.

"I don't think I am." I admitted.

"You are, you are so amazing and loving and caring, you make me want to be a better person, just so that I can deserve you." He said, I gasped.

"You deserve so much better than me." I tried to point out.

"Don't I deserve to choose who I think is the most worthy?" He asked, leaving me with yet more questions and very few answers.

**~0~**

I made it though dinner in one piece, I had never cooked for that many people before, I believed I'd over compensated and cooked too much, I was wrong though. I was held accountable for no one being able to move after they had all consumed so much food. I did suggest that I don't cook again, but that idea was shot down by everyone immediately, my punishment should be more cooking apparently.

**~0~**

I spent the next few days helping Jasper pack up his room, they were off to college the following weekend and I was really dreading having to say goodbye.

"You know it's not just him that loves you, right?" Jasper said looking up from the box he was filling with his books.

"What do you mean?" I asked but I was dreading the answer.

"Edward is waiting to see how you feel now that you know that he's in love with you." Jasper stated, I just looked at him waiting for him to continue. "You should know that I love you too, Bella."

"But you have Maria." I pointed out, but he shook his head.

"I haven't seen her this week, I've been spending all my time with you, plus once we leave, it's you I'll be spending my free time with." He said.

"That's not exactly fair Jazz, I'm sure that you'll want to spend at least some of your time with her." I said. Jazz is so easy to love, so I'm sure Maria must love him, she'd be a fool not to, though I have to admit that a small part of me is relieved. Maria isn't known for her calm demeanor, I'm sure she'd rip my head off if it meant she could be with Jazz.

"I've told her how it is and I've been straight with her from the beginning, whether she likes it or not, this is the way it's gonna be."

"You don't love her?" I asked.

"No, I love you, Bella."

"But then why were you with her?" I asked a little confused, I mean I assumed he had some feelings for her.

"I'm a guy, I have needs Bells, I wasn't about to come on to you after all the shit that you have been through." He said.

"But then does that mean that Edward..?" I questioned, but Jazz was already shaking his head.

"Mr Self Control has been rubbing one out every night in the shower, just so that he can sleep with you." He said, rolling his eyes like it was obvious.

I stood there gaping at him, once I realized that I was gaping, I snapped my mouth shut. "Why are you telling me all this? You're both off to college next week, you will have so many new options, I don't want to hold either of you back." I tried to say.

"You won't be holding anyone back, we both want you Bella, it doesn't matter if I'm with someone else, it's you I think about when I get off." He said almost nonchalant.

"Oh my god, Jasper! I can't believe you just said that." I said blushing rufescent.

"What?" He asked innocently. "Oh man, I do love it when you blush like that." He said finally getting up and coming to sit on the floor at my feet, pulling me down to sit beside him. "Don't act so horrified at me, I bet you fifty bucks that Edward fantasizes about you in the shower every night." He said adding to my mortification.

"Why would you? Why would he? I'm just boring old me, I have nothing to offer anyone, I'm not even remotely sexy or anything." I said. The next thing I know I am on my back and Jasper is hovering over me.

"Are you insane?" He asked holding my hands down over my head the way Mike used to, but this felt very different. I wasn't intimidated and he didn't make me feel like I had to do what he wanted, but his words hurt. "What I mean is." He said releasing my hands and cradling my face in his hands as he straddled my hips. "You are very sexy, even in an old t-shirt and Edward's boxers, you'd drive any man to his knees." He said, I tried to shake my head. "You don't believe me?" I shook my head, because how could I believe that? "Bella, I have seen Maria more this last month than I ever meant to, because you were walking around in very short shorts, fuck, I'm getting hard just thinking about your ass in those tight little shorts."

"Oh my god, why didn't you say something?" I asked, I'm sure my entire body must be crimson by now, I was so embarrassed.

"Are you kidding me? Why would I? Like I said you were so hot in those." He said waggling his eyebrows at me.

I was horrified, laughing with my hands covering my face, but horrified none the less, then something occurred to me.

"Is that why Edward was so upset about me wanting to wear a mini-skirt at the concert?" I asked.

"Y-you are wearing a mini-skirt?" He asked suddenly serious.

"That's what we were discussing when I thought he... I thought he didn't want me wearing it because it would make me look like a whore." I explained.

"Is it a very short mini-skirt?" He asked, his voice almost sounded husky, I nodded. He growled and moved off me.

"What?"

"Bella, we love you, we'd sure as fuck love to see you in a mini-skirt, but we are also very jealous and overly protective of you, we don't want hundreds of guys after you too."

"Stop being so ridiculous," I said pushing off the floor and getting up. "No one, with the exception of my psycho stalker and possibly you two, has ever paid any interest in me. What makes you so sure that people will now? I just thought it was a cool outfit, I'm sorry I wasted the money, I won't wear it okay."

"I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry Bella, I..." Jasper started to apologize, but then Edward walked through the door looking pissed.

"Why the hell are you sorry? What the fuck have you said to her?" He almost spat at Jasper as he hurried to me and pulled me into his side, one arm tight around my waist.

"He, didn't say anything, it's just me being overly sensitive, I know you don't want me walking around in my hooker skirt, so I just said I won't wear it." I said not looking at either of them. Edward pulled me against his chest and kissed the top of my head.

"It's not like either of us don't want to see you in a mini-skirt and we sure as shit won't leave your side, so you can wear it Bella, we're not about to dictate what you can and can't wear." Jasper said.

Edward lifted my chin and stared into my eyes for a moment. "You will look fucking gorgeous in anything you wear, all those guys at the concert will be lucky fuckers to get a quick look at you, but you are my girl, remember." He said.

"Ours." Jasper corrected.

"What?" Edward asked.

"She's our girl, not yours." Jasper reiterated.

"For now." Edward said hugging me and burying his face in my hair, I could hear his grin.

"So, about your nightly emissions in the shower..." I said wanting to clarify something. Jasper snorted as Edward froze instantly and didn't say a word. "Jasper bet me fifty bucks that you fantasize about me in the shower, can you put him straight so I can get my fifty bucks." I said, Edward didn't speak or move, in fact I wasn't even sure if he was breathing. "Well?" I said pulling away to see his face, he was blushing... "Oh my god, you do not?" I said covering my face with my hands.

"In my defense, you are seriously sexy, with the most amazing ass and I am not only human, I'm also a man."

"So do you fantasize about either of us when you play with yourself?" Jasper asked grinning at me when I moved my hands from my face, though I was tempted to put them straight back in place.

"Well... one, I'm always with either one or both of you, when would I get the chance? And two, I don't have the male equipment to play with." I pointed out.

"I mean in the shower, when you play with your pretty kitty." Jazz said, like I hadn't blushed enough in the last quarter of an hour.

"I don't do that." I said narrowing my eyes at him. Edward chuckled behind me.

"Sure you do." Jasper began to argue, then he watched my face, "Or maybe not... wait have you ever had an orgasm?" I didn't answer him, it was unnecessary when the answer was written all over my face. "You have to start playing with yourself baby girl, that's half the fun and you can fantasize about me as much as you like." He said.

I was so embarrassed, I answered the only way I could, instantly without thinking it through. "I wouldn't do that until after you have left for college, by which time I will have seen Doug Robb live and in the flesh, doubt I'll even remember you after that." I said trying to keep a straight face, until Edward growled in my ear and started tickling me mercilessly.

**~0~**

Today is Friday and we have spent the day together in Portland checking out the new place that Jazz and Edward will be moving into next week. I am doing my best not to think about that fact, Edward's enthusiasm seemed almost as fake as mine, his presence at my side even had Carlisle eying him curiously. Jasper had spent most of the morning with his arms around me, but once we arrived at their soon to be apartment, he couldn't hide his excitement.

Tonight is the Hoobastank concert and I couldn't be more excited if I tried. This is the last weekend we'll have together before the guys move here for college and although the idea makes me feel ill, I'm determined to have a good time tonight.

**~0~**

I couldn't see a thing through the crowd and I was being jostled around in the overly crowded arena, I kept looking around me nervous in case I lost sight of Jasper, even though my hand was held tightly in Edward's. Suddenly Jasper lifted me up and the next thing I know is that I am sat on Edward's shoulders. Not how I had always envisioned him being between my thighs in my fantasies but, oh my God! I actually had Edward's head between my thighs! I know that nothing can come of it but, a girl can dream, right? This is without a doubt the best day of my life! Seriously happy my period was over that's for sure, that would have been an accident waiting to happen.

When Doug sat center stage strumming his guitar and singing, 'A thousand words.' Edward gripped my thighs and I knew he was feeling the same ache about him leaving me. Fortunately that was followed with, 'Ready for you,' dancing on Edward's shoulders was entertaining to say the least. If anything he was moving more than I was, though his arms were locked securely around my legs holding me in place.

I was laughing and shouting along with everyone else, the audience louder than ever while the band was on a break, the audio tape of, 'Show Me Your Titz' was playing. Every time the crowd shouted out, 'show me your titz' all the girls on other peoples shoulders put their tits on display and all the people around me looked up at me expectantly. Yeah right like that's going to happen, then Edward looked up at me, my hands slipping off his head. He wiggled his eyebrows and mouthed, 'Show me your titz' along with the tape, I laughed and put my hands over my breasts. I watched as he licked slowly over his lower lip... Oh GOD! Much more of that and he will be getting a tsunami down the back of his neck, well not really, I was turned on though. I grabbed his head and turned his face back towards the stage, he was shaking as he laughed in response.

I admit that as sad as I've felt this week at the thought of never being more than friends, it had made actually being just friends so much easier. The worry of leaving me alone has been bothering them both though, I know it has, but Mike is off out of State soon, so I will be free to go home again. Although Kate offering me more hours after school will make the transition seem a little more bearable. At the very least I found it easier to joke around with both Edward and Jasper.

A few songs later I was more relax and enjoying myself along with everyone else when the opening chords to, 'inside of you' started. I groaned. "Oh god no... not now." I muttered. Seriously I get turned on by this song sitting in an empty room, what the hell will it do to me sitting here with Edward between my thighs? I found myself wriggling and squirming hoping to hell that the dampness in my panties wasn't soaking through to him.

_It seems so obvious  
>There's something up with us<br>I swear I feel it  
>From across the room.<br>So can I ask you this?  
>Not to be forward, Miss,<br>But I think I'll kill myself  
>If I never know...<em>

_What do I have to do  
>To get inside of you?<br>To get inside of you?  
>Cuz I love the way you move,<br>When I'm inside of you.  
>When I'm inside of you...<em>

"Oh god..." I moaned as Edward's hands tightened on my thighs and I could feel his hot breath on the inside of my leg. Every time he moves I can feel the five o'clock shadow on his face run deliciously on my sensitive skin. If I didn't know any better I'd say his was doing it on purpose, I was so turned on right now that if he even moves his fingers on my thighs again I will probably come. Yeah that would be just my luck, my elusive orgasm finally showing up right when I don't need one, I pulled Edward's head up.

"Can you put me down?" I asked, I sounded breathy and desperate to my own deaf ears.

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked not releasing me, I have to put my mouth next to his ear for him to hear me.

"Please." I begged, I couldn't exactly tell him that I was so close to orgasm that I was about to explode all over him now could I? It wasn't his fault that his every move was turning me on, it's not like he could do anything about it. Even if I did want that to happen, maybe a small part of me still did, but I knew that was not possible. I'm also pretty sure that he would be pretty disgusted with me and I'd never want that.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Sure, just a little dizzy, you know from being so high up." I joked, he laughed and moved me so that I was stood in front of him, his arm around my waist holding me in place so I wouldn't lose him in the bouncing crowd.

"Hey... my turn." Jazz said pulling me away from Edward and wrapping his arms around me, holding me in place with my back held tight against his chest.

When I looked back at Edward he was frowning as he looked at me, like he couldn't figure me out or something. He glared at Jasper for a moment then turned back towards the stage, he didn't look happy at all. I grabbed his hand and threaded my fingers through his. "You okay?" I mouthed when he looked down at me.

He leaned over to speak into my ear. "Just felt safer when I had you wrapped around me." He said.

"You felt safer?" I asked worried, why wouldn't he feel safe?

"Not me, my silly Buttercup, it's just hard for me to know you are safe when I don't have you in my arms." He admitted with a shrug. "Being here, it felt safer with you on my shoulders and not down here where you could get hurt." He said. I pulled his face from my ear and kissed his cheek, he straightened up, gave my hand a squeeze and turned back to the stage, but at least he had a smile on his face now.

By the time we started to leave I had sang, bounced and danced myself into exhaustion, I ended up in Edwards arms again, once the crowd dispersed in the parking lot. My hearing still felt like I was inside, I may have damaged my hearing somewhat, but it was worth it. Doug Robb was amazing, much better than any pictures I'd seen of him, but sadly still nowhere near as hot as Jazz or Edward. I hadn't been able to decide between two tour t-shirts and a hoodie, I bought one then Jazz and Edward bought me the other two. I'd put them all on before we came outside, it was much colder now and I was grateful for the extra warmth.

Edward placed me onto the backseat of his car, though I was pretty much asleep, I couldn't be sure if it was actually him that whispered to me. "So sexy tonight my beautiful girl, I could almost taste how turned on you were, I wish it was me that did that to you."

**A/N Reviews are almost as good as Edward between your thighs, or Jasper fantasizing about you when he... * cough * Well almost :D I need your feedback my darlings.**

**Until next time...**

**Mysty xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

_**My darling regular/weekly reviewers, thank you so much for all the advice/help/encouragement, you have been amazing and I love you so much that I wrote this chapter just for you.**_

_**Beta'd by the awesome Lady Seif.**_

**Chapter Twelve.**

_Edward's POV_

The Hoobastank concert had left me so confused that I couldn't think straight. I mean, I knew I loved Bella more than anything and FUCK! Having her on my shoulders so close to her pussy, I was harder then I'd ever been in her presence and that was saying something. I almost lost my friggin mind when I caught the scent of her arousal. Holy mother of fuck she smelled so good. It took everything in me not to turn into her and bury my face between her legs and devour her, I'd never wanted anything more. But the simple truth was, it wasn't me that she was thinking about as her dampness soaked her panties and her scent swirled around me, enticingly. This situation was what had me so confused, she'd never been like that around me, I'd have noticed the scent of her if she had, it was like an elixir to me. No, it was her Idol that excited her, a damn rock star, someone I was beginning to hate, she was mine... okay so maybe not really, but someday I hoped she would be, someday in the not so distant future. But was there a point if I didn't make her feel like that, if I couldn't be what she wanted, regardless, I wasn't about to give up on her.

It had almost crushed me when she asked me to put her down, then she went so easily into Jasper's arms. I was so jealous in that moment I could barely breathe, but then she put her hand in mine to reassure me and I felt so lifted. But the absolute highlight of the entire night, nah scratch that, highlight of the fucking millennium, was when she kissed my cheek. I could still feel my cheek tingling where her soft lips had pressed against me, I wanted her to do that again, all over my body.

Jasper's cell buzzed, bringing me back from the memory, we were in my car and on our way back to the hotel that we were staying in for the weekend. Mom and Dad were here too, they were having a romantic evening together, before Mom took us all shopping tomorrow.

"Fuck!" Jasper cursed.

"What?"

"Thirty messages and fifty six missed calls, just while we've been at the concert tonight." He complained.

"Who the fuck from?" I asked in surprise.

"Maria, she's suddenly gone all stalker bitch on me since I told her we were done." He said with a sigh.

"What the fuck does she want? We're leaving next week, what did she expect?" I asked, though thinking about it, this was Maria we were talking about, she had practically gone cold turkey for Jasper the last few months, she must think a lot of him to do that.

"I've only read a few of the texts, but she goes on and on about us belonging together and that she has friends in Portland she can stay with." He said as he deleted the messages without reading any more of them. "She said she understood, she promised she was okay with just hooking up, now she pulls this shit." He said dropping his face into his hands as his cell buzzed with another message, then started ringing. "Urgh! I don't need this shit!"

"Jazz, tell me you haven't told her about Bella." I almost pleaded, if Maria was going to go fucking psycho I wanted to be sure Bella wouldn't get hurt.

"No, of course I fucking haven't, but lets face it, everyone in Forks knows we've been hanging out together. If she's already adding two and two and coming up with CO2 then she's capable of anything." He said sadly.

"If Bella gets hurt because of your fucking hoover I will..." I couldn't continue, I was too fucking mad and I didn't want to risk waking my angel sleeping on the back seat.

"Why do you think I'm so pissed at her, I'm worried what she might do, you are not the only one that loves Bella, don't fucking forget that." He seethed through his clenched teeth.

"You're not in love with her though, are you?" I bit back, clenching the steering wheel as I fought to control my temper.

"Don't fucking give me that 'the one' shite, that's bull and you know it." He huffed crossing his arms and glaring out of the window. He really didn't have a clue, though before my feelings for my Buttercup really hit me, I guess I didn't believe in that stuff either.

"You wouldn't have been fucking around with Maria if you were in love with Bella, that is a fucking fact... if she gets hurt by this at all it'll be..." I practically growled at him.

"Stop." He whispered, it was almost a sob. "You don't have to rub it in." He said almost pulling his hair out in his anguish. "I-I don't know what to say to Maria to get her to back off, or should I encourage her to move to Portland just so she is away from Bella?" He said in a rush. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? She was only supposed to be a bit of light relief, tell me, what do I do?" He practically begged me as I pulled into the hotel parking lot.

"Look," I said pulling on his wrist to stop him ripping his hair out. "Lets just get through this weekend, maybe in that time we can think of something." I suggested.

He turned in his seat to look at my sleeping angel. "I've known all along she was too good for me," He said closing his eyes, "I don't want to see Maria anymore, but if it's the only thing that will keep Bella safe, I'd fucking do it... tell me that isn't love." He said reaching over and stroking her cheek.

"I never said you didn't love her, any fool can see that, but there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. Maybe someday you'll find someone and discover that for yourself." I said.

"I don't want it to be anyone else, I want it to be her." He said sadly.

"Well, unless either of us suddenly change into Doug Robb, I'm pretty sure we are both out of the picture." I responded, feeling like shit at the prospect of losing her someday.

"So, she still hasn't said anything, since you told her how you felt?" He asked.

"Not a word, I think that she thinks that I'll change my mind once I start college." I said, looking over her sleeping form before getting out of the car.

"Ever think that maybe she just doesn't want to choose between us?" Jazz asked leaning against the other side of my car.

"I don't know, I just don't know." I admitted. "I do know that just the thought of being away from her..." I almost choked, "It fucking kills me." I admitted. I opened the door to the back-seats.

"Come on Buttercup, I need to get you to bed." I said to her as I scooped her up in my arms, the place I wanted to keep her, for as long as humanly possible.

**~0~**

The last week with Bella before Jazz and I left for Portland was probably the worst week of my life. I tried to fill our time with happy memories, I did everything I could to stay positive, yet it was impossible. By Thursday I couldn't even stand going to the bathroom as it meant time away from my Buttercup. I had her pinned with her back to my chest, my arms wrapped around her and my face in her neck, usually kissing said neck as we moved around the house. Jasper was getting pissy as I wouldn't give him any time alone with her, though he was still fielding calls and messages from the deranged psycho bitch. Maria had been on him constantly, she had already threatened Bella because she knew he was spending time with Bella before we left. Fortunately so far we'd managed to keep Maria away from us but we needed to know that she wouldn't get to Bella once we left.

When Saturday arrived much too soon, I couldn't even make myself get out of bed. It was the last time I'd get to sleep with her. Okay so she was coming to stay with us next weekend, but still... I wasn't sure how I was going to sleep at night without her.

"I've changed my mind, I'm not going." I mumbled into her hair, the second I realized she was awake.

"You have said that every morning this week," she reminded me. "I'm almost tempted to hide in your suitcase." She confessed hugging me tighter and nuzzling against my chest.

"There's no need to hide Buttercup, I'd happily take you with me." I said, thinking that that was the first time she had mentioned that she didn't want me to go. She was sad, I could see that but still she still had not mentioned her feelings for me, it was so frustrating. "Bella?" I said and waited for her to look up at me, now was as good a time as any to ask her. Jasper I could hear in the shower, I had her alone for once. "Will you tell me now, before I leave, I need to know?" I said, almost as a whisper.

"Need to know what?" She asked, a frown appearing on her face as she looked into my eyes.

"How you feel about me." I said, holding her gaze for a moment before she closed her eyes as though she was in pain.

"You and Jasper are my best friends and I love you both but I am still sixteen, you are both nineteen and going off to college. You will both meet lots of pretty, exciting girls that will give you everything you want, I will not stand in the way of that." She said, then took a shuddering breath as though it was a struggle for her to say the words.

"But I don't want them." I pointed out, she lifted her hand to caress my cheek, I leaned into it enjoying her touch as well as her warmth.

"You don't know that, you have to try Edward... I-I'm no good for you." She said, but the pain in her face told me she didn't mean it.

"Fine then, I'll make you a deal." I tried to say but she was shaking her head immediately.

"No deal's." She said, but I placed my fingers over her lips.

"Let me finish, please." I said, she scowled but nodded. "If by the time your birthday comes around I still haven't changed my mind, you have to at least consider being my girlfriend." I said, she closed her eyes, pain etched on her face. "What is it Bella? Why? Why does the idea cause you so much pain?" I asked wrapping my arms around her and crushing her to my chest.

"I'm no good for you." She said.

"The fuck you're not! That's bullshit! If anything, I'm the one that's not good enough for you."

"I can't give you what you want." She sobbed into my chest, as Jasper came back into the room, it was now or never I had to know if it was him she wanted.

"Is that because you want Jasper?" I asked looking straight at him as he stood motionless in the doorway, I held my breath waiting for her answer.

"I-I can't be with either of you, I just can't be what you need." She sobbed, clutching me closer.

"I'm sorry baby, please don't cry... I didn't mean anything by it baby, I'd never want anything that you didn't want to give. I'd never ever hurt you." I said fighting back my own tears, is that what she had meant? That after Newton she couldn't be with anyone?

**~0~**

I wiped away Bella's tears as we stood on the sidewalk outside my new apartment building in Portland. Jazz and I had said our goodbyes, we had both hugged Bella and made her promise that she'd come down and stay next weekend. She had already got into the car and I was about to put her seat belt on for her when she almost tackled me.

"I'm going to miss you so much." She cried, as she wrapped her arms and legs around me holding on for dear life.

"I'm going to miss you more, I'll call every night and text you all day, just like normal." I assured her, she hiccuped and snorted adorably and kissed my neck. Fuck! That felt so damn good.

"You'll soon forget about me with all those hot college girls falling at your feet." She mumbled.

"Never, I could never forget my Buttercup," I said kissing her ear before whispering into it. "This is true love, do you think this happens everyday?" I said, her arms around me squeezing me tighter. "Hear this now... I will always come for you, if anything happens, you call me, day or night." I told her.

**~0~**

The first week in college was a whole new way of life, Jazz and I couldn't go anywhere without gaining attention. I'd been asked to more parties this week than I had my entire life, the babe pool was seriously massive. Yet I barely registered them as they were all lacking, they just weren't the girl I wanted to be with. I had texted Bella every chance I could, I'd phoned her several times a day. It just wasn't enough. Jasper had spent most of the week with Maria, trying to talk her into backing off and moving on, she had moved up here as soon as we did, the woman was a nightmare of stalker proportions.

It was Friday finally and I was sat in the bus station waiting for Bella's bus to get in, it was already fifteen minutes late. I missed her so much, I had spoken to her twice on her way here, just to make sure she was actually on her way to me. I'd confirmed that she was by tracking her cell, which she knew about, I'd told her it was so I could always find her if she needed me.

Bella's bus pulled in a few minutes later, she was already standing waiting for the doors to open, she looked tired but oh so gorgeous. She propelled herself from the step of the bus and I caught her and swung her around, hugging her tight as she squealed her excitement.

"Sorry, I shouldn't embarrass you." She said trying to push away from me, her feet still dangling a foot from the floor.

"Ha, you couldn't embarrass me." I said moving my hands to her thighs and lifting her so that she put her legs around me and then she hugged me tighter.

"Being seen with a high school kid will do nothing for your street cred." She said as I kissed her hair.

"Pfft... They can all kiss my ass. I can hug my girl if I feel like it and I feel like it a lot." I said squeezing her ass, damn I loved that ass. She giggled happily into my neck.

"I bet a good amount of them would like to kiss your ass." She said blushing, making me laugh, she looked a little jealous which is ridiculous considering that she is the only one who's lips I wanted anywhere near my ass. Then again I like the idea that she might be jealous, I liked it a lot.

I put her down eventually, putting my arm around her and holding her against my side as we walked the few blocks to my apartment.

"So how is Jazz doing? Or has she got him caged in a dungeon somewhere?" Bella asked, knowing what Jazz was doing today.

"I haven't heard from him since he left around lunch time." I admitted.

"Well he text me about an hour ago saying he feared for his life and I told him that if he goes missing, we'll get his face put on beer bottles instead of milk cartons, just so his friends will know." She joked. I'd smiled so much since she got here that my face was actually starting to hurt.

"God, I've missed you so fucking much." I said pulling her to my chest and kissing her forehead.

"I've missed this." She said wrapping her arms around my waist and nuzzling against my chest, muttering to herself. Although I thought I heard her say 'my place' and I felt a glow of heat rush through me. Yeah that was her place alright, in my arms with me wrapped around her.

"So what do you want to do tonight? There is a party in the apartment next door to us if you want to go out, could be fun, or we can stay in, it's up to you." I told her, part of me wanted to take her to the party, I wanted to show off my gorgeous girl. The other part of me wanted to have an early night and keep her to myself, either way I would be wrapped around her all night.

"I wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of your new friends." She said, I stopped walking and lifted her chin so she would look at me.

"You will not embarrass me, though I might have to tell them all that you are my girlfriend, just so they won't harass you. Besides you are my girl and a friend, it's practically the same thing." I said trying to justify it, I wanted those ass-clowns to know she was taken. She studied my face for a long moment.

"Will you let me get drunk?" She asked a smile playing on her lips.

"I might let you share my beer, but no more than one bottle." I said as a smile spread across her face.

"What will you do if it makes me frisky?" She asked with a giggle.

"Just so long as you are only frisky with me... we're good." I said with a waggle of my eyebrows, she laughed and we continued walking.

Now I had visions of her dancing with me and grinding against my cock, damn it. I shouldn't have worn such tight jeans, this is fucking uncomfortable and if I try to adjust Bella is gonna know instantly what I'm doing and the last thing I want to do is embarrass her in that way. In truth, I knew there would be no grinding, or dancing of any kind, she'd already told me she couldn't dance. Well we could always practice in my room when we were alone, okay that is not helping with the uncomfortable situation. Austin Powers and Fat Bastard in a sauna, urgh, I shuddered, yep works every time, fastest way to kill an erection.

**~0~**

The party had been a mistake, normally Bella was shy and reserved, easy for me to control myself around, but once alcohol took away her inhibitions she was too much. I don't think what I gave her added up to one whole beer, but obviously it was enough for her tiny body. I had stayed by her side all night, keeping the assholes away from her, but now... now we were back in our apartment, back in my room and I lay my half comatose and gorgeous girl on my bed. All I could think about was just how gorgeous she looked, her face innocent, her pouty lips slightly parted. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to suppress the moan I could feel slowly coming up from deep in my chest.

I opened my eyes and saw that she didn't look comfortable, so I undid the tiny cropped leather jacket she had on, the one I'd asked Mom to get for her. Revealing underneath a denim colored top... FUCK ME! Her tits looked so good in it, even with her lying flat on her back, but, Fuck! Written across her tits in tiny metal studs were the words 'WANT TO PLAY?' Oh fuck yeah... did I ever, I'd like nothing better. I bet this was one of the tops that Kate had bought for her, damn my aunt was evil sometimes. Bella's not seventeen until next week, nine more days, I reminded myself. Only sixteen. Only sixteen. Only sixteen, I told myself repeatedly. It didn't help, I still wanted to kiss those pouty lips so bad, only sixteen, I told myself again as I pulled her up to get her jacket off, then her arms wrapped around me. She held me tight, her tits against my chest... Fuck, no bra! She's gonna kill me. I couldn't help it anymore the groan left my throat, I was so fucking hard, feeling her tits against me. "Mmmmm." She murmured and nuzzled into my neck, I turned my face into her hair, 'Strawberries.' I couldn't deny myself anymore, I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight against me, damn she always felt so good in my arms.

I leaned back on the bed and pulled her on top of me, I had wanted her like this for so long and here she was, on top of me and I had a raging hard on. I'd set my iPod in the dock and Simple Plan's 'can't keep my hands off you' came on, well ain't that the truth. I really couldn't keep my hands off her, no matter how hard I tried. She began to stir, then pushed herself up so that she was straddling my hips, she pulled off her jacket rocking back and forth over my straining cock as she moved. I swear to god I would have done anything to be inside her right the fuck now, sixteen or not I didn't care, I needed her so bad. Jasper's word's from earlier came back to me, "We're too pretty for prison, I'm sure it would be worth it, but I don't think my ass could take being anybodies bitch." He'd said. But the truth was, even if she was mine Bella had been abused and I was not about to do anything that would remind her of that.

"Bella, please don't." I whispered almost to myself, but she heard me and looked up into my eyes, pushing that delicious looking lower lip out further, I wanted to bite that lip so bad. "Urgh, what are you doing to me?" I said trying to stop myself from just ravishing her. I watched in absolute horror as she realized what she was doing and dived off the bed, her hands covering her face. I hate seeing her upset, it cuts through my gut like a knife, I'd do anything for this girl.

I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back to me, she struggled against me for a moment, I shushed her, holding her tight as I spooned her, stroking her hair until she quietened. It wasn't too long before her breathing evened out and she fell to sleep, fortunately her being upset had killed my erection, but the feel of her in my arms again was already making me throb again, just like it did every night. I chose to ignore it, on the nights I hold her in her bed or my own I could ignore it, mostly because I would always get myself off in the shower before we went to bed. But tonight, after the party, I'd had no relief, in fact I was ravenous for her, she'd been by my side all night, all beautiful and innocently sexy as always. She'd had college guys hitting on her all night, yet she couldn't see it, couldn't see that they were all panting after her. I'd gotten a fucking sore throat from the amount of growling I'd done in an effort not to just yell at them all, just trying to get those assholes to back off from my girl. I wouldn't even trust Jazz with her tonight, not with him almost as drunk as she was, I just couldn't be away from her anyway. I had refrained from drinking more than two beers tonight, I needed to have my wits about me, otherwise I would never control my overwhelming need to make her mine.

**~0~**

I felt movement and opened my eyes, instantly awake seeing the tiny form of Bella in my arms, I'd missed this so much. Then the memories from last night came back to me as she moved again, the sight of her straddling me, oh fuck! She rubbed her ass against my morning wood. Poor guy had been punished and neglected over the past twelve hours since Bella had arrived. I'd been with her constantly, so I had a serious case of blue balls, I was almost fearful that they would fall off if I didn't rub one out soon. I hadn't been with a girl since Bella had started to hang out with Jazz and I two months ago. She was just about perfect, she was everything and more than I ever wanted in a woman. Why would I want anyone else?

It had taken me every bit of courage I had to tell her how I felt about her, I'd tried not to, lord knows I'd tried. As until she was seventeen and legal, being with her at all was not an option. I knew I was being an ass about it, Jazz loved her too but he was still screwing around with other girls during the week, let alone what he had with Maria when they had been together. He also knows how I feel about Bella, so he's backed off a little, between us we have so far managed to keep other guys away from her. But now we are in college and away from Forks its so much harder to keep the assholes away, even with my rents keeping an eye on her. Okay so we'd get her to come down here once every other week and we'd drive back to Forks alternative weekends, but that still left the weekdays, at least she spent some of her time with Mom or Kate. She spoke to both Jazz and I on Skype or Facebook, every night, but during school she was on her own and I hated that I couldn't be there for her.

Bella still couldn't understand why we spent so much time with her, it was always us that had to call her, she always felt like she was holding us back and wasting our time on her. She really has no idea how amazing she is, she still see's herself as unlovable, but honestly I hadn't met a guy yet that wasn't attracted to her. She was smart, beautiful, she had amazing courage and strength, just not where she herself was concerned. She was sweet and giving and made me want to be a better person, just so that I could be good enough for her. She just wouldn't say how she felt about me, which was beyond frustrating, I was doing my best to be patient but it was getting harder... literally.

I heard her gasp and I released my hold on her a little, as she turned in my arms. Looking up at me with that lip I want to suck on between her teeth, I couldn't help but smile down at her.

"Good morning."

"Morning." She said sleepily and not able to stop myself I kissed her nose, she was just so adorable.

"Go take a shower, whilst I treat you for a change and make you some breakfast." I offered.

"I'm sorry." She said, I frowned at her.

"For what?"

"For my behavior last night." She said sheepishly. "I really am so sorry..." She tried to say but I placed my fingers over her warm, soft lips.

"Bella, you were a bit drunk and having a good time, you have nothing to be sorry for." I pointed out.

"But..." She said through my fingers.

"No buts Bella, you had a good time and that was the whole point of us going out last night." I told her.

She pulled back and I lowered my fingers, my other hand still resting on her hip.

"But you didn't... you should have but you got stuck with babysitting me." She said sadly.

"I didn't babysit you, I was with you and I had a great time being with you, you know that I always do." I said. "Now the only butt I want to know about, is your cute one heading for the bathroom." I told her. "Now scoot." I said giving her ass a playful slap, god damn if she didn't have the worlds most perfect ass. Between that ass and the memory of her almost riding me last night, I had more than enough material to get me through my own shower. "You know, I hate to see you go, but I LURVE to watch you leave." I grinned at her making her scowl, so she exaggerated the sway of her hips, FUCK! I love that ass.

_**A/N Now you know exactly what our boys have been thinking, so now I need to know what you are all thinking XD**_

_**FYI... next chapter is a bad one, like don't read if you are likely to find abuse too upsetting, bad, unfortunately that's what's coming, I may be a snivelling mess this week because of it so please send me some love. **_

_**Until next time...**_

_**Mysty xxx**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Well it seems that I have lost a fair few readers over the last few chapters... :'( Might lose a few more with this one then. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF... You will be offended, upset etc, by scenes of rape. Either skip the chapter, or once you see this- ~~UNLOVABLE~~ **

**Scroll through until you see it again. This was an extremely hard chapter to write and I mean no offense to anyone who has suffered any such circumstances, you have my utmost respect.**

**Beta'd by the awesome Lady Seif.**

**Chapter thirteen**

Bella's POV

I miss hearing your laughter  
>All the little things<br>Forgotten what it's like to hold you  
>Cause where I am right now<br>So unforgiving  
>It's numbing everything<p>

We're so close yet so far  
>It's tearing me apart<br>What I would do, to be there with you  
>We're so close yet so far<br>It's tearing me apart  
>What I would do to be back with you<p>

(So promise)  
>No matter how long it takes for me to get back to you<br>You'll wait for me  
>(I promise)<br>No matter how far away I go I'll come back for you  
>Just wait and see<p>

I miss being at home  
>I miss your face<br>Don't think I can wait

(Hoobastank)

Now I was back at home and back at school, things had settled to much like they were before that fateful day that I really became a part of Edward and Jasper's lives. Well not quite, I still text them between lessons, still spoke to them morning and night, but it wasn't enough. My tiny bed felt huge without Edward in it, I was cold and empty without him and I felt like I was just existing until I was back in his arms. As much as I loved Jasper, he just wasn't who I craved just to make it through the day. I was slowly growing to hate myself, more than I ever had before. Why couldn't I be with Edward the way I wanted? The way he wanted, why couldn't I be normal?

Okay so I didn't believe that I was completely unlovable anymore, the two greatest guys in the world had told me they loved me and yes I believed them. Plus I had Kate and Esme, who have taken me in and cared for me more than any adult ever has before. Esme wrapped me in her arms the day I came back home and insisted that I call her if I so much as hear a dog bark. She comes over to the joke shop daily to check on me, as I spend a lot of time helping Kate out these days.

This week had been difficult, in an effort to try and cheer me up Edward sent me an Email with the lyrics for Hoobastank's song, 'So close so far.' Telling me that this is how he felt about me, I loved that song and had listened to it repeatedly, it broke my heart a little more every single time I listened to it.

**~0~**

After a typically painful Friday at school, I was aching from all of the bruises I had gained from playing field hockey during gym class. Apparently my legs look like a puck or a ball depending on what sport we are playing, my legs got hit more today though. I was cooking dinner for Jazz and Edward who were coming home from college tonight and spending the night here. Then we'd be spending the rest of the weekend over at Esme and Carlisle's. I'd just put the finishing touches to the chicken and bacon pasta bake and put it in the oven when there was a knock at the door. I was pretty sure it was too early to be Jasper and Edward, besides they always text me when they passed the town border to let me know they were almost here. I hadn't had any such text so I was hesitant as I opened the front door, I actually groaned when I saw it was Mike. I'd been so relieved when he'd left town to go to college out of state, so what the hell was he doing back here?

**~~UNLOVABLE~~**

I'd only opened the door a few inches when he stepped forward right up to the door.

"I'm back." He announced.

"Obviously, so why did you feel the need to come and tell me this?"

"Because I came back for you, now your attack dogs are out of the way I can make you mine again." He said grinning at me maniacally as he reached for me, I slammed the door shut in his face, hitting the dead bolt so hard in my haste I cut my hand on it. Then I ran for the back door to make sure that that was still locked, as I reached the kitchen I heard him kick at the front door. My heart pounded in my chest as he kicked the door again and again until it crashed in. I grabbed the knife that I'd used to cut up the chicken, I knew it was sharp, I'd cut myself on it enough in the past to know exactly how sharp it was. I stood with my back almost against the back door as Mike stalked into the kitchen.

"Don't come any closer." I warned him but he ignored me, stepping closer arrogantly. "Stay away from me." I warned again holding tighter onto the knife, but he backhanded me across my cheekbone. The collision causing me to hit the back door with such a force that the knife fell from my bloody hand. It honestly felt like he'd knocked my eyeball loose, the pain in my face was immense and my brain was rocking back and forth inside my skull. I might have even seen stars, it was too difficult to tell as my brain was more than a little fuzzy at this point.

"You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do to you, not anymore, now you are mine again." He growled in my face, grabbing my hair and pulling my head back to kiss me, quickly restraining my hands behind my back with his other hand, my screams and protests only seemed to spur him on. I could smell and taste the alcohol on him as he forced his tongue in my mouth, I tried to struggle against him but his size and height advantage were too much for me in my confused state. The only defensive move I knew was S.I.N.G from Miss Congeniality but he had too tight a grip on my arms to be able to do that. I bit his tongue making him pull away a little but he swore and gripped me tighter, pulling me roughly by my hair into the living room. He pushed me over the arm of the sofa holding me in place with his knee holding my head down, forcing my head so far into the sofa cushions that I could barely breathe. He took off his belt and tied my hands together with it, my futile attempt at struggling seemed to help him more than it did me.

My sobs and protests muffled to unrecognizable whimpering as I felt him release the fastenings on my jeans and pull them down my legs.

"Keep still." He growled, smacking me hard across my bare legs, then I felt his cock against my ass. I clamped my legs closed, then screamed as he lifted my ass and slammed his cock into me, it felt like he'd ripped open my flesh. It was a screaming, burning pain that made me feel sicker and more faint than I already did as I sobbed uncontrollably into the cushions. His groans of pleasure making me convulse with disgust as his hips slammed repeatedly against me. Every time I struggled against him he would simply lift my tethered hands and the movement would force me forward, back into the cushions, I was helpless.

"Stop struggling, unless you want this to go on longer?" He said moving and pressing his chest against my back and nuzzled the back of my neck, his hot breath on me making me vomit into my mouth, the feeling only made worse by the sound of his flesh slapping repeatedly against mine. "That's it isn't it? You love having my cock in you so much that you want this to last longer, my dirty little cock slut." He said and bit the back of my neck. I screamed, but it was as though he didn't even hear me. "Giving it out to two guys to make up for missing my cock in you." He said as his thrusts quickened. The guy had to be unhinged, I pleaded and pleaded for him to stop, but he didn't acknowledge that he'd heard me at all. "Now you are mine again and they are not getting you ba... What the... Urgh!" He said pulling all the way out and releasing me.

I heard a scuffle and he fell behind me as I struggled again to get up, my jeans were pulled up and my hands were released a moment later. I was pulled backward to the floor, where I found myself in Jasper's arms, his face filled with fear and anger.

**~~UNLOVABLE~~**

"It's okay baby girl, I've got you." Jasper tried to soothe me, I was stiff as I curled in on myself, every movement hurt. I briefly caught sight of Edward hammering Mike's face into the floor with his fists before I collapsed into Jasper and sobbed. Jasper must have pulled the comforter from the back of the sofa as I felt him covering me with it. Then he lifted me up and carried me up the stairs to my bedroom.

It wasn't long before I heard Edward come into my room, my sobs still shook my body as Jasper tried to hold me together. I flinched when I felt a hand on my face, I didn't mean to do it, it just happened reflexively, Edward's accompanying sob at my response had me reaching for him. As I looked up I could see he was completely broken and it ripped my heart out to see him that way. He couldn't even speak, he pulled me to him clutching me tight in his arms as he sobbed into my neck. Jasper moved out of the way and covered us both in the comforter off the bottom of my bed.

"I'm so sorry." Edward whispered into my hair when we had both been quiet for a few minutes.

I pulled away slightly so that I could look into his tortured face, though my left eye was quite swollen now. "For what?" I choked out, moving my hand to caress his cheek, he leaned into my touch.

"For not being here before, before he touched you, before he hurt you." He said, his eyes closing with the pain of his guilt.

"No, no Edward, y-you saved me, you got him off me." I pointed out.

"But if I'd been here, he never would have touched you." He said, his eyes screwed shut.

"Please don't think that way, it's not your responsibility to save me, but you did it anyway and I am so grateful, thankful to have you in my life." I said fervently.

He pulled me back against his chest, his arms squeezing me tightly, I felt safe. "When I think of what h-he was doing to y-you." He sobbed into my hair. "I wanted to kill him, I could still go and do it, but I can't leave you, I won't leave you alone again... Ever!" He promised.

"Oh god no! Bella honey," Esme said rushing into the room. "What did that bastard do to you?" She asked, I was shocked to hear her so angry and I'd never heard her curse before, it sounded so wrong. Edward reluctantly released me and I was immediately in Esme's maternal embrace, her love and compassion set me off crying once more. She rocked and soothed me. "You are moving in with us permanently sweetheart, no arguments, I will not leave you to survive alone ever again. I don't want you in this house, you are coming home where we can love you and take care of you." She said, which had me sobbing even harder. "We love you so much sweetheart, but I need to ask something of you, I wish I didn't have to, but the police will be here soon and a doctor will need to examine you. I-I didn't know if you would rather have Carlisle do it, I'll stay with you of course, but it's up to you sweetheart." She whispered, rubbing my back as she tried to explain. I understood enough to know what a rape kit was. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but if I had to choose, I'd rather be touch by someone I trusted than a complete stranger right now, I think.

Carlisle stood in the doorway, pain and concern on his face. "C-can you do it?" I asked him, I barely spoke above I whisper, my throat was raw.

"Of course Sweetheart." He answered.

"I'll go get you something to drink and some ice for your face." Edward said from beside me and I don't know why but I panicked, I really freaked at the thought of him leaving me. "I won't be far," he said stroking my hair, "I'll be just outside the door and I will be back in here the moment you are done, okay?" He said, my lip was quivering and I couldn't stop it. "Hey, baby, no... I will not leave you." He said holding my face gently in his big hands, he rested his forehead against mine, "I will get you a drink, some ice and maybe something to clean your hand. Then as soon as I get back up here, I'll call out to let you know where I am. I'll be back in here before you know it." He said, I took a shuddering breath and swallowed as he kissed my nose then my eyelids and then he was gone.

Esme helped me as I slowly stripped out of my clothes, which were put into a plastic hospital bag.

"Bella? What happened to your face, Sweetheart?" Esme sobbed moving my damp hair away from my face.

"He hit me." I said simply.

"And your hand?" She asked.

"I think I hit the dead bolt too hard trying to keep him out." I explained.

"Oh Honey what happened to your legs?" She asked when she saw the multicolored bruises all over my legs.

"I got hit a lot in hockey today." I said with a shrug.

"It looks like you were attacked on purpose." Esme almost sobbed again.

"Usually, it just looks worse than normal because they had sticks this time." I admitted.

"Do you get attacked in school often?" She asked alarmed.

"More verbally, but gym is always the worst, I'm just not very well liked." I said feeling guilty about revealing so much, but I was just so emotionally exhausted I couldn't control what came out of my mouth. Things I wouldn't normally reveal were running out of me like I was purging myself. Once I was covered in a sheet, she called Carlisle back into the room so he could get this done.

Carlisle asked the same questions about my injuries, he and Esme shared a concerned look but said nothing else. It was not long after that Edward called out to let me know that he was outside the door and that the police were here. I was relieved when I heard his voice, like I was able to breathe again, but the action was incomplete, like my lungs were now only partially open where as before they were closed off. He was close but not close enough for me to breathe a full breath.

Edward nearly knocked the door down in his anguish when I cried out in pain, I was so sore every touch hurt. Then Carlisle took some embarrassing photo's of my swollen face and bloody hand and although it seemed to go on forever he was soon finished. Edward had me back in his arms before I could even get dressed. I was torn, I wanted to get dressed and stay with Edward, but I also wanted to scrub myself clean. In the end, Edward sat on the toilet whilst I took a long shower, I was a little worried about there only being a shower curtain between us, but I trusted Edward enough to give me my privacy. I really didn't want him to see my body when I was so black and blue, I was sure he'd only be more upset than he already was.

Edward informed me that although Charlie wasn't one of the officers here waiting to talk to me, he had been informed. I wasn't sure if he'd turn up at all, but then he had to at least make an effort so that his reputation didn't look bad. Esme was busy in my room packing up my clothes and books.

As I stood under the hot spray the earlier events all came back to me in the quiet of the bathroom. My tears began to run anew, I had cleaned my skin until I felt raw, but I just couldn't seem to get clean enough. The pain both mental and physical reduced me to my knees and I collapsed into the bath and hugged myself as I cried.

"Bella? Baby? Are you... Oh no, No! Baby no..." Edward cried out, he shut off the water wrapped me in a towel and scooped me up and into his arms. I continued to sob as he did his best to hold me together.

Once I was dressed again, Edward scooped me into his arms and took me downstairs where Esme was waiting with my things all packed. She had already informed the officers that they could interview me at the Cullen residence as that is where I would be from now on. I was instantly on edge once we were downstairs, not knowing where Mi... where 'he' was.

"It's okay sweetheart, he's not here, they have already taken him away." Edward informed me, knowing what had made my body go so rigid in his arms as I clung to him.

With Jasper following us with dinner all wrapped up we headed out to the car. Edward placed me on the backseat beside Jasper, just as another police cruiser pulled up and Charlie got out.

"Where do you think you are taking her?" Charlie yelled at Carlisle.

"I'm taking her away from here, away from this place."

"You have no right." Charlie said as Carlisle made Edward get into the back of the car with me, he opened the window a little so that we could still hear what they were saying.

"Bella was viciously attacked and raped, you can't expect her to stay here." Carlisle's voice was hushed but angry.

"By who? If it was your kid I'll fucking kill..." Charlie growled.

"No! He saved her, he's cared and protected her for months, when it should have been you who cared for her." Carlisle said.

"He'd better keep his hands off her or I will lock that little fucker up for good." Charlie said getting in Carlisle's face.

"I think your time would be better spent locking away her rapist and not one of the few people who have taken care of her, in your absence." Carlisle pointed out angrily. He had a point, I wanted to get out and tell Charlie myself, but everything ached and my anger at Charlie attacking Edward wasn't helping.

Edward hit the button to roll the window back up but I stopped him, I wanted to hear this. "Baby, you don't need to hear this, you've been hurt enough." Edward said pulling me into his lap and holding the icepack he had against my cheek.

I winced. "I need to know, I need to know what he thinks." I managed to say before Charlie's enraged yells interrupted.

"Mike wouldn't do that he's a good kid." Charlie insisted, "He's the best thing that could ever happen to a girl like that."

"Good god man, she's your daughter, don't you care about her at all? That is it, if you want to speak to her, you go through another officer and you'll be hearing from my lawyer." Carlisle said as he rounded the car and got in, Edward rolled up the window.

"Get your fucking hands off her, you little punk." Charlie growled at Edward and banged on the window as Carlisle pulled out of the drive.

"What do I do now?" I whispered as my sobs once again rocked my body.

"Nothing Bella, you don't need to do anything." Carlisle tried to assure me.

"B-but what if he makes me go back there?" I asked terrified at what the chief was capable of doing.

"No baby no." Edward said squeezing me tightly, holding me together as the fear ripped through me.

"Bella, we will not let him do anything, try not to worry Sweetheart, we will keep you safe, I promise." Esme said reaching over and squeezing my good hand.

"No one will ever make you do something you don't want to do ever again Bella. I promise you, I won't let that happen, you will be safe with us Sweetheart. Please try not to worry, I will handle it and we will keep you safe." Carlisle said fervently.

"But why would you do that?" I asked in a whisper, not understanding why they felt the need to help me.

"Because we love you Sweetheart, we couldn't bare the thought of anything bad happening to you again and we have the means to make sure that doesn't happen. You mean far too much to us all, it hurts us to see you hurt." Esme said, tears running down her face.

"I love all of you too." I choked out, as I squeezed her hand back.

**A/N If anyone is still with me after this chapter... big, big hugs to you, as I know I sure need one, you'll have to let me know if you want me to carry on.**

**Until next time (maybe)...**

**Mysty xxx**


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